Kiwichi's blog: "Holy hell back in florida!!"

Lately I've been wandering
Off the narrow path
You’ve given me so many things that I've never had
And all in all I know it's you that always pulls me through
If you reach deep inside you’ll see my heart is true
Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice 
The world I know is pulling me
More and more each day
I feel like the odd man out as I begin to pray
Spiteful eyes are watching me
With everything I do
In the midst of darkness Lord
My spirit calls for you
You know sometimes deep inside
I feel like this
Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice 
The Way I Feel 

Just sitting here thinking about the past and such. Made some good and bad choices. Been around the states and a few countries. Thinking how certain people screwed me over. Talk with all the sugar coating talk only to be lied to. Some days i wanna give up and some i dont. I can be a fool sometimes. Like someone you pick up. Use it til you had your fun and toss me away. Due to this one person they made me think who to trust and who not to trust. I was once married for 13 years and thought life was grand til something happened and lost it all. Then one time i traveled acrossed the united states to be with this one person and had a good thing only to be let down.

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time
And I’ll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I’ve
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there’s a
Boy here in town says he’ll, love my forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when your dead how people start listenin’
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

How can you hurt me so
you act like it was nothing
when you get up and go
but it was really something
to have left me all alone
I sit here and wonder
how you can be so blind
my mind just ponders
Im just too kind
while you have left me all alone
you make up these excuses
and pretend it is okay
but I can’t take the abuse
that you show my way
you have left me all alone
someday you will see
all the pain Im feeling
but this really hurts me
this is why Im fleeing
because you have left me all alone
Now I will leave you in the dust
when you see me walking off
you won’t be thinking about any lust
all you can imagine sitting in your loff
while I leave you all alone

make you think im ok
make you think im fine
do you believe me?
do you truly see my eyes when they're open
see the soul i have
the heart you shattered
the one you destroyed
come and follow me
follow the darkness of my shadows 
shadows of the night
Im not ok
im not fine
what makes yo believe that you can see through my eyes
the cold dead eyes

When I fell in love my heart was on fire 
To be with you was my one desire
And if you love me I’ll give you everything you need 
A lifetime of promises and a world full of dreams 
For only my heart knows what it means 
And I promise you it won’t be wrong 
One love, two hearts we will make it strong,
But now my love is lost in your sweet kiss 
Honey when I’m alone you’re the one I miss
And your sweet, tender love it hard to resist
Darling it's true my heart has fallen in love with you 
Looking upon the stars tonight wishing with all my might
Hoping someday you will realize this passion I hold inside
Honey it doesn’t cost a dime. 
And if you give in your love could be mine
I feel truly blessed for this feeling the Lord has given me
Accompany by faith and much understanding
And I know this gift will guide me for all eternity
As my heart fly by with angel wings 
And the clouds form into wedding rings
 On and on a soft melody
That’s how it feels to be in love like me.
For thoughts from the heart are never ending 

Love grows in our hearts, and it grows slowly over time, 
Within each of us it is enriched and nourished-- 
Shaped by our experiences, and raised within
The depths of the soul.
It comes not from folly, and is not readily achieved within youth--
Only from the seasoning of time, and the wisdom from maturity,
Can true love in all its forms be fully known.
Love is  love is universal.
And only when we embrace the inevitable within ourselves, 
Instead of running away from the passing of time, 
Can this realization occur. 
Upon this, only then can we be happy and ready to 
Experience the full bounty such love has to offer.

When I look at you my heart starts to race. 
My head is spinning, I'm lost in your gaze. 
I know nothing of the world around me, 
Life is just a blur. 
Your presence consumes me. 
I think of your face, your laugh, your smile, 
I hang on your every word. 
You control my thoughts, possess my dreams. 
I long for your embrace. 
Not a day goes bye when I don't think of you. 
If only you knew.