There has been a big change in my life and I'm not sure if I am supposed to be happy, sad, depressed (which I am sad and depressed) and much more. Since Saturday night, things for me have been really hard. The love of my life that I have been with for almost 2 years and I have split up. Well, let's just say it's "just for now" but will it be "just for now"? No one really knows. I guess we'll see what happens I guess. It's still hard for me to really talk about it because I finally found the one true thing that I really care about in my life, and to let that person slip through my fingers like nothing is beyond belief. It's hard, it's really hard. I'm not going to be able to hug him passionally, kiss him like I want too and tell him I deeply and truely love him. It hurts a lot and I don't know what to do really. I don't know if I should fight for the one I really love, or if I just leave him alone. It's really hard to just sit and not do anything. When I wake up in the morning, he's all I think about, and when I go to sleep he's all I dream about. I never knew love can be this way, I never knew that love can be so pure but yet it drains away so fast. It's so hard to know that I might lose the one I truely, and passionately love with all my heart. It's hard to know I have to wake up with no one next to me every morning, or yet go to sleep with no one there to hold me till I fall asleep. It's going to be hard, it's going to be so fucking hard that's it painful to even know it's true. It's all still a shock to me as I didn't know this was going to happen. It all hit me, and put my ass right on the ground faster than I could breath. I never knew love so pure could hurt so badly, and it hurts like a thousand knives going through my heart.
Well there you have it, now you know why I haven't been on here much. The past few days have been a living hell for me, and I'm sure those days will keep pouring in.
