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confused's blog: "hmmm idk"

created on 05/23/2007  |  http://fubar.com/hmmm-idk/b85183

DANGEROUS MIND

.MY MIND IS A PLACE OF EVIL , PAIN , AND DECEPTION . UNABLE TO REASON , INCAPABLE OF REDEMPTION . EVIL CONSUMES MY MINDS ELATION ; INFECTING MY SOUL WITH IT'S DISTURBING FIXATION . SOMETIMES I FEEL I AM LOSING CONTROL . THE SICKNESS INSIDE HAS TAKEN IT'S TOLL . THE PAIN IN MY HEART FLOWS THROUGH MY VAINS , RAGING INSIDE , IT ENGULFS ME IN FLAMES . BURNING DEEP AND SLOW WITH TREMENDOUS FURY ; SEARING MY LIFE , DESTROYING ME FULLY . THE STRESS ON MY MIND , BODY AND SOUL LEAVES ME BATTERED , BITTER AND COLD . DECIEVED BY MY MIND , IT BEGINS TO REIGN . I FIGHT THE INVASION , I TRY TO REMAIN . I'M CAUGHT IN A WAR , A STRUGGLE AGAINST INSANITY , BUT SOON I'M CONFUSED AND MISPLACE MY REALITY . AT THIS POINT I AM LOST AND SO IS MY SANITY . I'D BE SCARED IF I WERE YOU , BECAUSE I'M STILL REAL TO YOUR REALITY ... I TRY TO EXPRESS MY SELF THE BEST THAT I CAN . BUT MY PAIN IS SO DEEP , YOU'LL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND ... I'M STILL SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO LEAVE MY PAIN AND SUFFERING BEHIND . UNTIL THEN FOR YOU SAKE , !BEWARE OF THIS DANGEROUS MIND ..........!

The Voices That Betray me

The voices that betray me, The monsters within my mind; the world beings to fade, The clock has surpassed time. The voices that betray me, They say I'm worthless, that I'm unloved; that I'm broken and nobody cares to fix me, Nothing I could ever do would be enough. The voices that betray me, Lye so deep within my head, That sometimes I can't even think; only thoughts of me being dead. The voices that betray me, They say that I need to die, I'm not the world, I'm not any body's life; they say nobody would even cry. The voices that betray me, They come from a distant past, Oh, the horror; the memories, Happiness, it could never last. The voices that betray me, The voices of my mother and Grandmother alike; I surrender to their hateful ways, Tonight, for them, I take my life

Off To War, Soldier

Soldier, you've surpassed survival, Your immortality reflects your strength. Although it seems as if you've left something behind, In reality, you haven't seen what's taking place. Your lover, she's back home; every night, she stays up to cry, You're so far away, and she needs you; it seems as if her tears will not run dry. There's a part of her that is missing, And she wants to take this pain away; she's seen you cry, she's seen you scream. Darling, her feelings are still the same. It's painfully obvious that you're not coming home, It's like a bitter taste in her mouth she just can't rid; she needs you to hold her close within your war stricken arms, And forget everything that you once did. She wants you to be there with her, She wants to dream with you and share her thoughts; she knows how much you're going through, She knows how hard you've fought. But they're sending you away, soldier, She thinks that she's not strong enough to survive, She continuously thinks of her death, Planning her suicide. She knows all too well that you'd be devastated, But it's just getting so hard to breathe, She needs you to be there, she needs you there, Not so far away, just come home, please.. She's trying to withstand this distance, It's as if they're egging her on, Like she needs to prove something; like she's done something wrong. But tonight, you sit with her crying, And the tears that fall from her eyes, they ache; she's going to love you no matter what, And mend your heart. It doesn't matter what it takes. She loves you, soldier; Just please, please don't go.. She'll miss you.. just so much.. She loves you.. more than you could ever know

Broken Flowers

Shattered in the storms, Heart was sure to break, Love lost in the lust, Emotions born to fake, Tears in the distance, Another waking lie, Broken flowers dying, As the world starts to cry, All is lost in death, As they fall away, My eyes always shimmer, But they are here to stay, The velvet on my pillow, My body clothed and clean, My wooden house of rest, And the end of the obscene

A Teddy Bear That Glows

The little boy took his teddy and placed him on his bed, then told it listen closely at things that must be said. Mommy and daddy think I don't know, but I must go away, God waits for me in Heaven and I could go there any day. You're the only one I can trust besides my dad and mom, so do the things I ask of you to keep their spirit calm. I know things that will hurt them, so watch out for every one and promise to let them hug you when they have begun. If you promise to be sweet to them and do everything they say, I know they will love you, as I do, and always let you stay. When you see they think of me and their eyes look really sad, then go and let them hold you, so things won't seem so bad. Teddy lay with his little friend while the Angels came that night and an Angel touched the toy, so it glowed in God's pure light. At the service his mommy held the bear while weeping for her son and in Heaven the little boy smiled, teddy's job had just begun.
I took the memories I had of you And sealed them in a letter I sent them along I wonder if they were delivered I think the address I wrote Was the one you gave to me You're not losing any sleep And the letter remains unopened Put me in a box and forget my name Because if you don't remember it no one will On a shelf where the dust collects I see your face Your eyes stare back Like a thousand aches and pains The memories of you can't be erased Because I sealed them in a letter It sits on your shelf With dust collecting on it Put me in a box and forget my name Because if you don't remember it no one will A million sunsets have come today With each one gone by there is less pain All I can do is forget You
Dear Lord I'm just a soldier, a protector of our land, A servant called to battle when our country takes a stand. Pray for strength and courage and a heart that will forgive, for peace and understanding in a world for all to live. My families prayers are with me no matter where I roam. Please listen when I'm lonely and return me safely home
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In Wishful Dreams

In wishful dreams you come to me silently in the dapth of my sleep To softly kiss my lips and cause my heart to sing when i weep Your hand touches my face softly with gentle loving care I look up into your eyes of soft blue and caress your dark hair Softly I hear your lips whispering love wolds i need to hear Sweet as the song of paradise birds calling in the evening air Only love true can dream this dreams, memories in the heart that drift lighly like a feather upon crytal streams invade my wistful slumber nightly Love unconditional with emotion far veyond any compare I breathe heavily as I suddnly awaken into the early morning air Still feeling your touch I awaken and look around in disbelief You are not here with me and my heart seems to skip a beats. My dreams seem to become more realistic in passing months and years Love seems to strengthen with desire, and i shed a longing tear Not tears of sorrow or shame , or what happened or whom is to blame, Only memories of love with dreams is left to hold in my heart ...and there you will forever remain ...

Death's Broken Heart

Love hurts long after it has taken wing to a distant shore. And left behind we pray for... just one more. To touch to caress with lip and eyes.. To kiss away the tears of sudden, senseless goodbyes. Amidst the regrets of time wasted on foolish prattle life lost its hears valiant battle Beneath the sea of tears... One heart leth behind will search until its end of time Only death's broken heart will embrace this rhyme
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