Deja's blog: "here ... i guess ..."

Have you ever felt that the world was closing in on u? Felt like no matter what u do u just can't get out of the rut u r in? My husband just went back to work in California while me & the kids r in Oklahoma ... my car is trying to break down & i have only the money from my job ... I know that we are working to make things better but it so seems like things are against us ... I just feel as if i dunno what to do when there's no money to take care of things when they break down or just stop working ... i guess basically i feel helpless ... but i do go on. I just wanted to write so ... if u r reading this thx for reading my whining rant...

As i sit here I am often left to wonder y ... Y do i find myself coming back to this place Knowing inside the answer is not there left to wonder y my heart feels so bare I have know the feelings of love, desire & wanting passion, & bold life yet feeling so empty ... my friends all around me yet still i feel alone yet life still amazes me ... with a power so bold so yet i still find myself walking day by day trying to find the light ... somewhere passing my way.