MoNtAnAoKiE's blog: "Heartache"

Darkened clouds, wind and rain. Left alone with all this pain. It’s winter here without you. Landslides always drag me down Trapped for days, will I be found ? I pray for skies of blue. Flooded plains within my head Tornadoes draw near, leave me for dead. I feel alone without you. Drought from tears I know not for I’ve cried for days, I cry no more. I’ve made mistakes, it’s true Hurricane waves pound on my shore I’m drowning on my bedroom floor. Will we never be together? This natural bridge from heart to heart Collapsed in shreds, fallen apart These seasons last forever.

It's gone What's gone? My mind? Soul? No, I'm fine Not really Deep inside, something is missing The love and tender kissing He walked out himself Now all I do is talk to myself in the mirror, with my reflection My heart is dead Soon it will make a resurrection Once the wounds heal And I'm loved for real A type of love I can feel But nobody loves me Nobody cares Nobody loves me That nobody is me I can't love myself because no one does I'm all alone and no longer what I once was But the only thing that keeps me alive Is knowing that the next day, it might all change For the best And that "nobody" becomes somebody

When I say I love you I do But this with you will not do I need someone I can lean on Someone I can count on too Yes you are there sometimes For that I am grateful to you But I need someone there full time And that you can not do You told me once you loved me That I could believe in you I was there when you needed someone Where were you when I needed someone, too? The time has come for me to let go Never to expect you to care again People may come and people may go But my love will never end

Are We Still Friends? I could have held you all night long, I could have laid next to you forever, But then I know tomorrow soon would come, And still we couldn't be together . . . I went against what my head was saying, and followed my heart through, And instead of quitting while I was ahead, I started falling in love with you We had so much fun together, the memories we made so great, all those nights laughing and smiling, staying up so late. As the snow falls on the sidewalks, I know this too will pass, for feelings are like the seasons changing, and one season never lasts. So, I know this must stop now, and tomorrow soon will come, as we walk away and never look back, as our warm feelings become numb.

Never Meant To Be Softly as a gentle breeze, Love crept into my heart So softly I did not realize Until we came to part. 'Twas then that love so suddenly Grew claws, and without warning Clamped around my heart and left Me bleeding and in mourning. So stunned was I by this attack, I did not cry out "stay! " And, frowning at my silence, You turned and walked away. I never knew, until you left, How much you'd meant to me And now you're gone, I guess Our love was never meant to be.

When Friends Go Too Far Why did we cross the line? Everything would be fine - One moment of pleasure For all this pain; Can you tell me now what did we gain? Everything would be OK - Normal as it was, But no - we had to go to far - We had to cross that line I would never turn back time, For every moment I learn. It's just things are so different now - Things between you and me. Why didn't I open my eyes? Why didn't I only see That what we were accomplishing Would be the end to you and me?

WALKING AS ANGELS We laid back and let it all flow out the topic of trust never once had a doubt, for within my mind and heart as well was an image and vibe as clear as a bell. You were very special to me and more I had a feeling inside I never felt before. A trust so great and strong I wanted this trust to take away all the wrong and return to me a mended soul. My mended soul would then release a new angel beside the other one and together we would stroll the heavens, our times are over and done. For we have then won the battle within and now we rest for created we have a personality twin, Think alike, talk alike, say the same thing. It is time we are to ascend for we have reached the territory of a best friend. But friendships break even the best of ones then all me have established becomes undone. Your job as my angel is then complete because you have left me with only my pen and sheet. I am now forced to record what I feel to something unlike you and I, it's not real. I'm talking to myself, every single word I write to paper but what I'm saying goes left unheard. All this because of you my angel, you are no longer beside me though I beg and plea our friendship just wasn't meant to be. But do not worry my pen is okay For within my heart our memories will always stay, Forever... because a part of you will be with me always, to forget you Never...

The day that we first met, in my mind I still see, you sitting in the lunch room, looking for some company. I alone myself, sat down with you that day, neither of us knowing what the hell to say. But we got through the awkward times, and quickly came to be, the best of friends to eachother, we could ever be. The closer we grew, the more we left, the other world behind, just me and you we jumped into a new place totally blind. We prayed together our friendship forever, and always would stay the same, but time has passed, only memories last, and little friendship remains. WE ONCE WERE ONE! I screamed at you, I want my best friend back! But we both realized at once it was that bond we lacked. You think it doesn't hurt me, to see us back to two, looking to my left and right to see there is no you. But we both are moving on now, lets do it gracefully, I hope our friendship still lives on in you memory.

RAIN Pitter, patter is what I hear as I listen to the rain. It fall's against my window and hits gently on the pane... As I lie in bed at night with the rain falling gently down. I think of you lying next to me just listening to the sound... The gentle tapping in our ears as I made sweet love to you. It's a memory that will alway's be in my heart, forever true... I remember how we talked and laughed and held each other tight. I, also, remember how we loved until the morning light... And as I lie here listening to the rain on the window sill. My memories of you and I remain- and always, always will... So, gentle rain that make's life sweet and clean and fresh and new. Keep falling down on my window pane till I get back to you...