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Husband Application for Marrying samantha....
Name:
Age:
Birthdate:
Height:
Weight:
Eye Color:
Hair Color:
Address:
Phone Number:
Email:
Myspace:
Please attach DNA Samples, and copies of your social security card, birth certificate, drivers license, and a recent photo of yourself to this application. Also include your medical record, criminal record, and driving record.
Mother's Name:
Age:
Birthdate:
Occupation:
Address:
Phone Number:
Father's Name:
Age:
Birthdate:
Occupation:
Address:
Phone Number:
Sibling names and ages:
What is the most recent school you attended?
Did you/ will you graduate?
GPA?
What are your following sizes:
Shirt:
Jeans:
Shoes:
Most important do you know Samantha's sizes? (To buy her gifts)
1. What are your religious beliefs?
2. Do you have a confederate flag?
3. What does the confederate flag mean to you?
4. In detail, what do you drive? Include VIN?
5. Are you a trust fund baby?
6. Do you go fishing? How often? (attach fishing license)
7. Do you own a boat?
8. Do you hunt?(attach hunting license)
9. What guns do you own? (attach gun registration)
My guns are bigger.
10. Where do you work and how much do you get paid?
11. Do you ride a bike or moped?
12. What question are you hoping that im not going to ask you?(please answer that question)
13. Can you support yourself? Would you be able to support 1 more person? And give Samantha EVERYTHING she wants?
14. Do you own any animals? If so, what? (kind, name, age, breed)
15. Why did your past relationship end?
16. Do you have any kids? Is it possible you have kids unknown to you?
17. Have you ever killed anyone? Did you get any blood on your shoes?
18. Does your family own a cemetery? Can we eat taco bell there at 2 am?
19. How often do you chase deer through ditches with a .22?
20. If someone were to put you in a "label" what would it be? (ie. punk, country, preppy, gangster, hick, crackwhore, etc.)
21. How often is there too much blood in your alcohol stream?
22. Would you ever make it on UFC?
I can kick your ass.
23. Have you ever tried smoking a crayon? What color?
24.Have you ever been married before?
25. List of past marriages?
26. How would I get in contact with them?
27. Do you approve of clearance crack?
28. Do you smoke cigarettes?
29. Do you drink alcohol?
30. Do you approve of supplying alcohol to minors?
31. What are you getting Samantha for her birthday?
32. Where would you take her on your honeymoon?
33. It's 2am and she's leakin... would you make that tampon run for her?
34. You said you would call in a little while, what's a little while?
35. Have you ever cheated in any past relationships? No need to explain.
36. Have you ever stalked someone? Would ya stalk Samantha?
37. What if Samantha decides she's not bathing for a couple of days...do you still sleep in the same bed with her?
38. Are you a fan of bondage and bubble baths with rubber duckies?
39. Do you have tattoos? Please include pictures of all for Identification of your body.
40. You bored yet? Wishing this was over?
41. What is your viewpoint on threesomes?
42. You just found out Samantha is bisexual, what is your response?
43. What is your preferred method of safe sex? Abstinence is not an answer cuz I know you're full of shit.
44. Do you have a question?
45. I really don't care....
46. Would anyone miss your sorry ass?
If you run I will find you...
I swear that all this information is true to my best of my knowledge.
X________________________________________________
Signature (that's your name moron)
Please allow 6 years for processing..don't call me for updates. If your approved and most likely not, you will be informed. Otherwise have a nice fucking life!
