mandaSMASH's blog: "And now, a word from our sponsor."

I woke up pissed off, which, like I already explained in a message when someone gave me virtual chocolate (thank you), is a step up from the weirdness I was experiencing last night.. but it's still not pleasant.

Btw, no, I'm not PMSing. Fuck off. Anyone that hides behind that blanket is ridiculous. I'm actually more of a needy take-care-of-me-look-how-cute-I-am-when-I'm-vulnerable kind of person when it comes to that. Like I need an excuse to be a bitch.

Although, I do wish I had an excuse today, because at least then I would know why I feel like I could rip out an innocent bystander's jugular with my bare hands. Sometimes I'm just angry. Sometimes it just feels like my blood is actually boiling. Sometimes it just really fucking sucks.

Maybe it's because I'm angry with myself.
Maybe I'm stressed out over my living situation/job/financial inabilities.
Maybe I'm not getting decent sleep because indecent dreams plague me.
Maybe I am too involuntarily depraved to be so voluntarily deprived.
Maybe I should let myself have a little faith once in a while.
Maybe it's Saturday.

Maybe I'm fucking nuts.

Maybe I'm human.

I'm going to take an insanely hot shower and, once my skin is red and blotchy and has started to detox, I'm going to clean my apartment. Get some positive energy flowing. Burn some candles that smell nice. Listen to some good music. Open the blinds.

Okay, screw that last part. Hermits like their caves.

I don't like me like this.
I don't expect you to like me like this either.

Thanks for being nice when you didn't have to be. ♥

Ummm...
I'm glad for the people I've decided to surround myself with that decided to stick around?
Yes. I think I'll start with that.