- Your back goes out more than you do.
- A fortune teller offers to read your face.
- You turn out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
- You remember this week that last week was your wedding anniversary.
- You are startled the first time you are addressed as "Old Timer".
- You answer automatically when someone addresses you "Old Timer."
- You burn your midnight oil after 9:00 p.m.
- You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
- Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl walk by.
- You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friend who exercised.
- You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
- The best part of your day is over when your alarm goes off.
- The thought of getting out of bed never occurs to you.
