JennaJae's blog: "Graceli Kopanyi"

"Lie to me," she begged, raising her tear-stained face to meet his gaze. "What?" he asked confused. "Why?" "Because I've realized that I am going to die alone. In the end you're always alone. How many times have we heard that? But the part that no one talks about is the beginning and the middle. They're lonely too." "We all get lonely sometimes." he put his arms around her, trying to soothe her. Angrily, she jerked away from him. "You just don't get it, do you?" I'm always alone! Even when I'm with you, with anyone or even everyone. I've screwed up my chance at happily ever after. Every night I sleep alone. The warm bodies I can cuddle up with a few and far between. And it's what I deserve. I'm a horrible person. So go ahead! Lie to me! Tell me that everything will be alright!" she screamed at him. "I can't." he replied softly, defeated, and walked away.

He took her hands in his, absently rubbing his fingers over hers. The feel of warm metal and cut stone on her left ring finger froze his caress immediately. "You're engaged?" he asked, shocked. "Why didn't you warn me?" She looked down at her ring then back up at his face. A bitter laugh tore from her throat. "Who would have me?" She asked angrily. "I would." he replied after a long silence. "You?" she laughed. "You who took away my child? You wouldn't let me give life, why would you ever give me yourself?" she asked, when he had no response, she tore her hands from his and walked away in disgust.

~seriously, who hasn't had this conversation?~ "How did you get this number?" she asked blandly when she answered the phone. No hello, no I miss you, no howve you been. Straight to the point. "You gave it to me, remember?" Came his equally droll response. "Must have slipped my mind, what with how often youve called over the years." She returned sarcastically. "Possessiveness is not attractive on you." He clucked his tongue in disapproval. "To be possessive, one must first possess, and I do not." "Youre going to make me cry." he replied, his turn to be sarcastic. "Save them. I neither want nor need your tears. I got what I wanted from you." "Off?" he suggested crudely. "Almost, and in bed sport that doesnt count." She snapped at him. "Why didnt you let me walk away? Why did you have to call the next day? I was over you!" "Was?" he questioned smugly. "Am. Im not saying that we wont ever have sex again because that is just begging the universe to prove me wrong. But Im not actively seeking you out anymore. Im over it, and Im over you." He heard the soft click in his ear as she hung up on him. "What do you want?" she answered when he called her back. "It doesnt work that way. You dont get to end things." He snapped at her. "You arent the one who gets to walk away." "Then say the words and end it because I am sick of this! Do it, end it, I dont care who does it. I wont live this way, I deserve better, I deserve more. There are men in this world who will offer me what I need in this world and you arent one of them, so why wont you just go away?" she shrieked at him. After a moment of silence he replied in that irritating, bland tone of his, "Way to let me end it." "Sorry, I cant find it in me to care. Let go of your ego, because that is the only part of you that wont let me go. And Im going. It might be the only way that Im stronger than you, but I am, here and now. Goodbye. Go back to your old ways and pretend that you forgot my number." This time when she hung up, he didnt call back.

her-So perhaps you will take care to remember that in the future. She snapped at him, exasperated and exhausted. Hoe do you make someone with the mentality of a brick wall see sense? him-Did you mean to say the future, or our future? her-The future. I have no place in yours and we both know that. him-Then why are we still having this conversation? her-You know I cant think of a single reason why. Goodbye.

If I could have told you then how much your words could hurt, then you'd hold them back today. I wish that we could have walked a different path or danced a different dance. Now is too late to change our ways so I'll walk away so that you can go on your own way.

I don't know where I'm going, but I know where I have been. I don't like it much, but it's the life I've led. My love, old and spurned, and yet it is no less. I love with my everything and hold nothing back. I give my all because you can't go back and do it over again. There is no going back, never was, never will be.

Is it just me or does everyone have days when no one is who they used to be? Where you live your life through a tear stained haze? Everything you used to know, all the places you used to go... Nothing is as it was and no one seems to love you anymore, at least not the way that they used to, the way that no one else ever could. When the only stable one in your life has gone and every thing you once knew has been snatched away. Where do you go since you obviously cannot stay here, not with him. Did you really think you could? What right did you have to dream that dream you have every night? Stupid cow, you have no rights. It's not your life, let go of that dream. Nothing can ever be as it once seemed.