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Picture Suggestions
I’ve noticed a lot of various pictures now on this website that are simply either bizarre or, quite honestly, frightening. So I thought I would write a brief guide to choosing a default picture wisely as well as thoughts on real life versus fubar life.
First and foremost, if your default picture looks nothing like you – then you shouldn’t use that. It’s disappointing to come to a page after clicking what looks to be a hot picture and finding out that the girl is really some slob using a fake picture just to get rates.
Second, props should only be used sparingly. For example, I’ve noticed some pictures where a girl is holding a snake, yet she’s still a pretty big freaking girl. While the snake might be nice and all, and while some people might be into that kind of thing, seeing it curled around your rather huge body is not really all that attractive. It just highlights your fat rolls which, honestly, no one wants to see.
Speaking of props – there are some girls who pull off the finger biting, or the sucking on a sucker look rather well, but if your BMI is at or above overweight, it just makes guys really think about your compulsion to continuously shove candy into your mouth. It’s really NOT sexy at all if you’re a fatty.
Third. In todays advanced world of technology, it really shouldn’t be that hard to figure out an easy way to make a salute. You have camera phones, web cams, digital cameras, scanners, and if necessary, a friend or two that should have one of the above. Make a freaking salute! Don’t have pictures of you on a webcam and then tell me it’s broken! Go buy another one! Borrow one! Something. But please, don’t be THAT pathetic that you can’t figure out an easy way of making up a salute. And don’t make excuses about how you don’t have to prove yourself or some bizarre argument like that. It makes you sound like a little bitch and pathetic. This is a site that requires you to participate. So do it! And don’t tell me out of the 1000 pictures you have up here of you, that you don’t have the time or the necessary equipment to make a freaking salute. It’s really not that hard.
Fourth, whats up with people doing the secret admirer game – which is a game based solely on looks, who use some animated picture that doesn’t show them? That’s worse than taking out a personal ad in the newspaper with the description of 27, Female. Think a little before you play and you might have more success there.
Fifth, what’s up with really big girls showing off their MASSIVE amounts of cleavage? Really???
Sixth, even if you’re not all that attractive, you can still make a nice looking default picture. I’ve seen some pictures where the girl is simply a fugly, but brushing your hair and teeth, maybe putting on clothes instead of pajamas, even splashing on a little makeup could go a long way in improving your appearance. No matter what you do, you’re not going to look like Angelina Jolie, but at least demonstrate to the world that you’re capable of actually being able to go out into the sunlight and into public without scaring away small children.
Seven. If you weigh 200+ lbs, you should not, I repeat, SHOULD NOT, have a name associated with playboy or anything of that nature. No playmate, bunny etc. I know growing up that you might have thought you would be in that magazine, but I assure you, until you get your fat ass off your computer and start jogging, there will be no future in playboy for you.
Eight, popularity on fubar does not necessarily guarantee your popularity within the real world. Let’s face it; there are a lot of perverted, strange guys on fubar who would pay attention to a dead fly just as much as they might to your ugly sagging ass. Don’t think for a second that whatever attention you receive here relates to popularity or looks you might get in the real world.
And the last point I’d like to make is this. If your name has naughty, or dirty, or slut or whore, or bad girl, or something along those lines… please, please please do not begin talking to me about how you’re different than all the other girls on fubar. It’s just bad form. The truth of the matter is that if you have that kind of name on here, it indicates to me that you’re here for attention of some kind or for points. Which there is NOTHING wrong with that. But don’t make it sound like you’re somehow drastically different than all the other attention seeking, point whoring people on this site.
I think that about wraps it up on suggestions. Finally, I figure there will be three types of people who read this. There will be the type who finds this blog funny. There will be the type who asks “who the hell does this guy think he is?” And there will be the types that are just flat out offended. For those of you who think it’s funny – thanks for reading. To the ones asking who I think I am to write this…. I have this to say. I know that I’m not Brad Pitt. But I know too, that it’s not really hard for me to get a date in the real world with very attractive looking women. And with that being said, I generally find that the more intelligent a girl is, the more attracted she is to me. And to those who are offended – I suggest this – get off your ass and run a little.
