Willow Wiccan Family's blog: "Funny Shit"

A top 10 list about Eve 10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him. 7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself. 6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb. 5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone! And the #1 reason why God created Eve... When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

Quick Comebacks to Annoying Pick-Up Lines. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

TOP 10 REASONS MEN DATE BIMBOS INSTEAD OF NICE GIRLS 10. Much easier to prove that you're superior. 9. Less likely to interrupt you with thoughts or opinions of their own. 8. Won't want you to cancel your plans to watch nude Jell-O wrestling to go see "Phantom of the Opera". 7. More impressed by the thickness of your wallet--even though it's stuffed with condoms instead of money. 6. Will let you send intimate pictures of them to Beaver Hunt. 5. They won't object to demeaning comments you make about them in front of 'the guys'. 4. They actually believe you when you say, "I love you for your mind and personality -- now shut up and finish putting on that French maid outfit. 3. Don't understand computers well enough to access your files and read what you've been saying about them. 2. Their ability to comprehend spatial relationships is so poor that they really do believe that it's eight inches. And the Number One Reason Men Date Bimbos Instead Of Nice Girls 1. They will put up with you.

How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men... He does not have a beer gut... He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility. He is not quiet... He is a Conversational Minimalist. He is not stupid... He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development. He does not get lost all the time... He discovers Alternative Destinations. He is not balding... He is in Follicle Regression. He is not a cradle robber... He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships. He does not get falling-down drunk... He becomes Accidentally Horizontal. He does not have his head up his ass... He suffers from Rectal-Cranial Inversion. He is not short... He is Anatomically Compact. He does not have a rich daddy... He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion. He does not constantly talk about cars... He has a Vehicular Addiction. He does not have a hot body... He is Physically Combustible. He is not unsophisticated... He is Socially Challenged. He does not eat like a pig... He suffers from Reverse Bulimia. He is not a bad dancer... He is Overly Caucasian. He is not a sex machine... He is Romantically Automated. He does not hog the blankets... He is Thermally Unappreciative. He is not a male chauvinist pig... He has Swine Empathy. He does not undress you with his eyes... He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment. He is not afraid of commitment... He is Monogamously Challenged.

Be one step ahead of the rest.....sign up NOW!! Classes Start Soon 1) Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop! 2) Introduction to Common Household Objects II:The Sponge! 3) Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding. 4) Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead. 5) Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? You CAN Tell the Difference! 6) If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss 101. 7) If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss 102. 8) Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore! 9) Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In. 10) Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In. 11) Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink! 12) Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels! 13) Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to run out of Toilet Paper! 14) Bathroom Etiquette IV: What to Do With the Toilet Seat When You Are Done. 15) Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill. 16) Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts. 17) No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware. 18) Romance: More Than a Cable Channel! 19) Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means! 20) Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut. 21) Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category. 22) Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote. 23) "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh. 24) Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet. 25) Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed. 26) "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It! 27) The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty 28) Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them. 29) Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime. 30) Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It!