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You know the funny thing about my life is that no matter how much I try or do I will always be too good or too much for someone that I deserve someone better. At least thats what I get told, now to break down this further, to me when someone says this to me, it means that you need to find someone who is more suited to you and its never gonna be me, then why did you let it get it as far as it did in the first place if you knew I wasnt gonna be the only you wanted? See here is the thing about what I know thus far in my life, I am able to make someone smile, make them feel love, make them feel adored, almost everything they ever wished for, but yet when push comes to shove it doesnt happen they feel as if its too much.... how can it be too much when its what you have asked for all this time???? Or is it that it didnt come from a pretty package but a much bigger package that has some damage to it, and doesnt seem like it will benefit you in some way, so you use an alternative phrase like " You deserve someone better" what if that someone better was what you needed not what I needed?
One fact I have come to face in almost 40 years I have learned that I the one that is to just be heard but never seen. What does this mean someone would probably would ask? Well the answer is simple but truthful, and that being heard is far better, then to be shown off to the world. Now this seems wrong, which I agree its very wrong, but sometimes when this done over and over one become accustomed to living such a life and starts believeing that its the norm. But why would you live your life this way? Well because I thought this was just the way life was supposed to be for most guys. For the most part its because I seemed to be just be a great guy to have privately. Publicly has never happened for me really, I dont even know if I could even be myself in public like im in private. At least thats what I tell myself that living in my life in the shadows will be a better life then out in light.
