Vampyric Princess's blog: "First"

How can you tell if it's true love? I've been thinking about my wonderful boyfriend, Corey Zusag and I can't help but think its true love! I don't know how to explain it, but there is just something about him that makes my heart skip a beat!!!! Everything seems to melt away when I'm in his arms, so that it seems like the world is just me and him!! I realy can't tell you in words why I love him so much, I just know in my heart that things are right. I know that as long as he has my heart in his hands, it's safe! Well, I love you baby and later to the rest of Fubar Land!

What am I going to do? Things don't seem to be going the way that I thought that they would, and now I don't know what to do! Yeah, this may confuse some of you, with my half thoughts but if you can figure out what I mean, let me know what you think. At the moment, things with my life aren't going the way that I saw them about a month ago. I'm not saying that I'm not happy, but things from my past seem to be creeping up in my mind and I can't get rid of them. Try as I might to get these thoughts to leave me alone, they only seem to settle deeper in my mind! Thinking about the past is nothing new to me, but the things that I'm thinking about, I thought that I was over! What the hell am I going to do if I can't get the thoughts out of my head? I waited for a sign, didn't get it, and now I think that the sign may have shown up. Whatever, I guess that the only thing that I can say in all of this is... Getagrrr!!!! Doarry if this blog confused some of you!

I guess the only thing that I can say is that the New Year has been kinda rough. I guess that things are always like that at first, but I'm kinda worried about my relationship. My boyfriend Corey and I have been together for just over a month and things seem to be going down hill. I guess that it could be my imagination, but sometimes I don't think it is. Well, I guess the only way to find out is to keep going and hope for the best!

What would be your perfect Christmas gift? Mine, would be to be able to wake up on Christmas morning next to my boyfriend and know that all the people that I love are happy! I know that it may be asking to much, but its what I want! I want all my friends and family to be happy! I just want all the drama to end and for everyone to get along for just one day at least! I want the best for everyone that means the most to me!

Life's a game we learn as we go... well, I'm still willing to play! Though, last month, I thought that I should just give up and stop playing! Because of someone very special to me, I learned that not everyone is out there to hurt me! He showed me that even a stranger can care. In the short amount of time that I've known him, he grew to be my best friend and something even more special! I love you, Baby! And soon, we will be gazing up at the stars!

Okay, this is weird, but I'm getting a bit worried! One of my best friends hasn't been returning my texts or my messages! I hope that he is okay. I worry about him, even though I haven't actually met him! Baby, if you read this, I hope that you know that I care and I'm here for you! I miss you Baby!

Someone I know, saw something that I try very hard to mask! He saw the pain that is in my eyes! i don't know how I feel about that. I try very hard to hide it, and he saw right through that veil. It scares me to think that someone can see my pain, but I don't think I want to hide it from him! And that scares me more than the fact that he saw it in the first place! I think that maybe it will be okay for this one time, to let someone in! Maybe. I just hope that in the end, it doesn't back fire like in the past!

I just killed a friendship tonight. He was an ex-boyfriend of mine, but I tried to hold on to the promise I had made him. I had promised that I would always be there for him, no matter what. well, shit went down and I decided that I could no longer be his friend, so I sent him a message tellig him that! In ending that friendship, I killed a part of myself in the process! I just hope that I don't end up regreting that decision!

This is my first of probably many blogs! I just wanted to say that I'm really new to this site, and if it weren't for Meggy I wouldn't be here at all! In my blogs, you will get a small glimps into my life. I will warn you all now, it gets a bit confusing! Well, Later!