ANT the RANT Brass Knuckle Poets Society's blog: "Geek Shit"

The singer's name is Eric Violette.

Restaurant
They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am I dressed like a pirate in this restaurant
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and ice tea
Should'a gone to free credit report dot com
I could'a seen this comin' at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you e-mail alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts

Dream Girl
Well, I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her mom and dad's
No we can't get a loan
For a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we'd gone to free credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

New Car
Well I was shoppin' for a new car, which one's me?
A cool Convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack,
Cuz' now I'm drivin' off the lot in a used Subcompact.
F-R-E-E that spells free,
Credit report dot com baby.
Saw their ads on my T.V.
Thought about going, but was too lazy.
Now instead of lookin' fly & rollin' phat,
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed at.
F-R-E-E that spells free,
Credit report dot com baby.

Renaissance Fair
I was getting depressed 'cause of all the stress I was feeling at home
Had a poor credit score and the number would haunt me wherever I'd go
Thought I'd move to a place where my credit could stink and nobody would care
I just wish that somebody had told me that place was a Renaissance Fair!
Free Credit Report dot com!
Tell your friends, tell your dad, tell you mom!
Never mind, they've been singing our songs
Since we first showed up with our pirate hats on!
So if you're not into fake sword fights,
Pointy slippers or green wool tights
Take a tip from a knight who knows
Free Credit Report dot com, let's go!

Rock Star
When you're a rock star,
You get to party hard.
Champagne and caviar,
Tricked out exotic cars.
That's just how I thought it'd be,
Except the party's not for me,
Cause some punk opened a credit card with my ID.
Free what,
Free credit report dot com.
That's the site I'm gonna hit when I go home.
They know how credit works.
They send email alerts.
Now I'm findin' out how bad reality hurt's .

Bicycle
Check it out gas prices blowing up sky high
Ditched my used sub-compact for a 2 wheel drive
Now I'm rolling eco-friendly, but I still look bad
When the bike store saw my credit
They said this is all they had
I'm singin'
F to the R to the E to the E to the C to the R to the E D I T
RE to the PORT to the dot to the com
Come on everybody grab your bikes and sing along
F to the R to the E to the E to the C to the R to the E D I T
RE to the PORT to the dot to the com

Roller Coaster
Buckle up everybody cause were taking a ride
It can strain your relationships and hurt your pride
Its the credit roller coaster
And as you can see it kinda bites
So sing the lyrics with me
When your debt goes up your score goes down
When you pay a little off it goes the other way around
Its just the same for everybody
Every boy and girl
The credit roller coaster makes you wanna hurl
So throw your hands in the air and wave em around
Like a wannabe frat boy trying to get down
Then bring em right back to where your laptops at.
Log on to freecreditreport.com stat!

Cell Phone
Wanted to get myself a new cell phone
So I could hear myself as a ringtone
Who knew the store would go
And check my credit score?
Now all they let me have is this dinosaur!
Hello hello hello, can anybody hear me?
I know I know I know, I should have gone to
FreeCreditReport.coooom!
That's where I should have gone,
Could have got my knowledge on.

Reno
We were stuck in a basement apartment
Tiny rooms the sun never blessed
So when we needed space for a family
Set our sites on the wide open West!
Well I thought we'd see Sierra Vistas,
And breathe air pure as new-fallen snow,
But my poor credit score was a sinker
Now we rent by the week in Reno!