SHIIZAH no I am NOT single's blog: "memories.... the good, the bad, the fugly."

DID YOU PEE ON ME??!!!

Ebony hadn't gotten  laid in a long time, well at least not decently.  She gives into desperation and hooks up with Midget Mack who's been eying her for sometime at the club.  She goes to his apartment, where his roomate sleeps in the laundry room and gets it on with Midget Mack who suprisinngly is a really good lay.  Somewhere in the midst of him hitting her g-spot in this super awkward, yet amazinng position and her screaming "Oi papi fuck me harder", she squirts!  Midget Mack stops mid-stroke, looks at her, and says "What the fuck?! Did you just pee on me?", and so starts the explaination to the 22 yr old man of what the "squirt" is.  Men aren't the only ones who can ejaculate.  If fucked properly it is possible for a woman to cum so intensly that her cum will not just be known by a super wet pussy, but will actually shoot from her pussy like water from a squirt gun, hence the term "squirt". 

You can't imagine how incredibly awkward and humiliating it is, not to mention a huge turn off to have someone ask you if you've just peed on them when you're in the middle of the most intense fucking orgasm you've had in a long, long time.  Men, pay attention to what I'm about to say...  TOTAL FUCKING DEAL BREAKER!!!!!  You will never have a taste of that incredible pussy again if you stop to ask if she's lost bladder control!

As long as we're on the subject of sexual deal breakers let us teach you men of all ages what not to do when getting or trying to get sexual relations from women shall we?  Women out there, you can try to say these things have never happened to you but really, it's ok you're not alone....  IT DOES HAPPEN!  But hopefully not for long.

Who put it in men's heads that it is sexy or appropriate to say I love you, right smack in the middle of sex?  I mean really, is that supposed to turn me on?  Make me cum?  Do you expect a loving response?  There are some instances where it could possibly be appropriate for the "I love you" whispers....  However, rough riding, hair pulling, shoulder biting sex is not one of those instances.  Slow, intimate, close-up love making could be appropriate if you're approaching climax or immediately there after.  But just to be safe, if you aren't sure if it will be a deal breaker or not, just save it for the after sex post-play.  Instead say something sexual in your whispers and moans.  Finish what you started with the "I love you".  For example: I love your pussy, or how you feel, or how you taste, or how you fuck me.  Dont be lazy and stop with just the word you.... Leave that for the tantra and Kauma Sutra type shit.  Naughty Schoolgirl, or Nurse Tit-arific doesn't want to be loved, she wants to be fucked, nuff said.

Same goes for love-making.  If you're having a slow, intimate moment and she lets out a soft moan, don't put your fucking hand over her mouth and tell her to shut up.  Seriously, it'll be the last time you have a moment, and will stop immediately.

More things that will be sure to end any future sexual relations with a woman, or hurt your libido.  Comparing us to a past woman in your life, even if it's to our benifit, while having sex is not a good thing.  Do not ask us how you compare to past men in our lives during sex.  Actually, you might not want to ask us period.  If you are better, we will let you know.  If you are enjoying yourself do not say "Wow, you really do get around, don't you" and think we will take it as a compliment.  A seemingly obvious one, yet happens frequently, for the love of God, do not utter some other woman's name from your lips once body contact has been achieved!