Destiny
These days I always wake up with a sense of dread and confusion. It never really mattered where or when I woke up. That's a surprising thing to say because I didn't always wake up in the same place. This was the first time I awoke with blood on my hands.
I was in my own bed, but the room had been moved about. The couch was facing the wrong way, its cushions up against the wall. My modern art coffee table was flipped upside down, and the recliner was edged sideways against the wall. The resulting image of my small apartment looked like someone, maybe me, went to a little bit of trouble to make sure everything was incorrect. But why?
There was no other blood anywhere. I realized I was naked as I stood to inspect the furniture, and immediately started checking myself for wounds. From what I could see, I couldn't find any source to say that the blood was my own. I walked to the bathroom, intending to check my back for more blood or telltale wounds. Opening the bathroom door was when I first saw her.
The strangest thing I recall about seeing her was not feeling panic, or even remorse, for seeing her twisted and mangled body in my bath tub. Something deep down inside me knew what happened to her.
You killed her.
I could hear my own voice in my head telling me such things.
You killed her and you enjoyed it.
I went for the kitchen. I didn't think it right to wash my hands of her blood while she was, well you know... watching, I guess.
You've really done it now.
After washing my hands, I opened the cabinet. My last can of Alpo. It was an excellent food source. High energy, long shelf life, and, most importantly, very, very cheap. When you have five dollars and no job, you can eat for a week on canned dog food. It really wasn't that bad.
You are pathetic. Now you're a pathetic murderer.
Random images flashed through my mind. As I listened to my own head, my own voice, belittle me as it always had, I began to see the night before in choppy flashes. It wasn't me though. Could I have been the one that killed her?
It was you.
No it couldn't be me. I'm not a killer. Besides, the images I see showed hairy arms, long claws. I hear growling. Some kind of big dog.
It was you.
The loud hum of the can opener ended with a faint metallic click as the top of the can popped free. I didn't have a spoon. In all reality, I didn't have an apartment either. I found this apartment furnished and unoccupied, and there doesn't seem to be a landlord. As far as I know, the whole building is squatters.
Pathetic losers. Just like you. But they don't kill.
I'm not a killer! I don't think about anything but surviving each day!
You killed her to survive. You had to eat.
I had spent so many months convincing myself the greasy, salty taste of the Alpo was bearable. I had even approached the point that I felt it was actually fairly good. However, this morning, I couldn't even bear the smell. I had a hunger for something else. Whatever I ate last night, I don't seem to want anything else. But what was it?
You fed on her. You killed her so you could feed.
That can't be possible.
You are powerful. You are strong. You need to feed.
The can of dog food fell from my hands and crashed in a brown mess across the old tile floor. That... was not... my voice.
Embrace it. You need to feed
No that can't be right. I'm not a cannibal!
You are not human
Yes I am!
Go see the girl
The images in my mind continued to replay claws, long hair... dog-like. I looked down at my pale and gaunt arms. That wasn't me.
Embrace... indulge
I went back into the bathroom. I didn't want to, but I felt compelled. I had to least really look at her. I mean give her a really hard look. Looking down into the bath tub, I gazed upon the bloody mess. Her face was attractive. Somehow I decided that, despite one eye had been torn out, and her face was locked eternally in an expression of sheer terror. Most of her stomach and one leg was missing. Anything below mid-thigh on her left leg was gone, the remains of the leg ending in shredded tatters of flesh. Her stomach was as if someone hollowed her out with a giant fork/spoon combo. Looking her over didn't disgust me, although my whole life I had always thought that if I ever encountered something like this in person, I would vomit. However, looking at her, I felt something... different.
Embrace who you are.
It made me feel... hungry.
Yes...
I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I knelt down beside the tub. I was no longer wondering what to do with her.
You know why she's there
I knew why she was there.
She is food
She is food.
Yes...
As I reached forward to rip forth another piece of her leg so that I could satisfy my hunger, I felt a twinge of pain in my chest. Everything seemed to clinch and tighten at once. I gritted my teeth and groaned against the pressure. My groan slowly turned into what sounded like a growl. My arms came into view in the corners of my eyes, and I watched the hair and claws extend from my once skinny arms. I felt bigger, stronger. My vision even seemed more clear. I could smell her now. I could smell her blood.
Embrace... yes embrace...
As I tore her flesh free, I could not wait to feast upon it. I wonder how long she'll last before I need to get a new one?
Welcome home...
