Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Bryant, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently jailed in College Station, charged with sexual misconduct with three underage girls.I have recently become engaged to marry a prostitute who lives in Austin.
All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
