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The Shark (Ages 26 - 33)
When The Crazy Train has experimented with her powers and becomes comfortable with using them, it's not long before she becomes The Shark. The Shark is fully aware of what she is capable of and has now decided to put those powers to use. Sharks don't need a man in their life. In some cases, Sharks view men as "The Monkeys that procure things." Sharks arefocused. They have set a goal for themselves and are working inexorably towards that goal like a perky breasted juggernaut.
In order to land The Shark, you need to be empathetic, understanding, supportive, giving, attentive, and have integrity. Many of you can stop reading right here, and go on to the next chapter because all of these attributes are unknown to you, and you had to Google them before you read this sentence. Many sharks will say that they are simply too busy to have anyone in their life right now. This is simply bullshit. She wants to find someone as much as anyone else, but there are no men that fit her impossibly high standards. She knows that she is 'all that and a bag of chips' and believes that she deserves the perfect man. She thinks that perfect men are rare, but doesn't realize that in the history of the world there has only beenONE perfect man, and he ended up nailed to a cross some 2000 years ago.
When approaching The Shark, you need to be somewhat of a paradox. Bold, yet humble. Outspoken and respectful. Goal oriented yet selfless. I can already sense some of your eyes glassing over. What The Shark wants is reassurance and encouragement. She wants to know that the path that she has chosen for herself is the right one and when she starts to have doubts, she wants someone to give her a pep talk. It is important to note at this point that The Shark is at her weakest a few months before and after her 30th birthday. 30 represents a checkpoint in life where she should have certain things accomplished, and because sh'e human (I'm assuming you're chasing after a human), she will fall short. This is where the pep talk comes in. The Shark also needs to be respected. This means that when you're watching the World Series and it's a tie game at the bottom of the 9th with the bases loaded and a 3 - 2 count on the batter, and she walks into the room to talk... you had damn well better turn off the TV to give her all of your attention. It is vitally important to remember this because every single day that you are with The Shark, she is testing you. She knows every time that you have forgotten to take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, or change over the laundry. She also knows every time that you have killed a spider for her, made her breakfast in bed, or called just to say you were thinking of her. Pick your battles wisely, adventurer, because someone is keeping score.
Sex with The Shark is pretty damn amazing. It is a bit more inhibited than sex with The Crazy Train, but The Shark has skills. So many skills, in fact, that in the back of your mind you wonder if she has ever worked in the porn industry (she has, but you'll never find out). The Shark gets off on the knowledge that she can turn a 200 pound man into a glassy eyed, speechless pile of quivering flesh that can't seem to stop drooling.
