Aliheartsfriggin rox's blog: "Colors"

We go to extreme measures for love. We do what we must to pursue it, maintain it, preserve it, hide it, save it, retreat from it, attain it, and, ultimately, forgive it. Perhaps most love isn't what we imagine. Maybe we love the most when we commit acts of self-sacrifice. Maybe we are forced to leave most love behind to make room for our own personal growth. When was the last time you let go for love? Not OF love, but FOR it? When has your most painful decision been motivated by compassion? And, most importantly, was it worth it?

well idk, it hurts real bad like i swallowed like 400 fire ants and then punched myself in the tummy and they started going crazy, like that kinda pain

There isn't any particular reasoning for writing this. Cedar Point was awesome..ppl I talk to all the time have already heard this tons of times since I've been back.Sorry and stuff. Well I thought I'd let you ppl know I am no longer Ali. I'm moving to the mtns and changing my name to Helga. I will also have a dog named Goat. Candy will also be accompanying me. She is gonna be Raspnancy. We will plant our own food and live off the land.If any men named Steve is to step foot on Mt. Cornbread they will me maimed and fed to Goat. Please make sure to send Xmas cards and lots of presents. Signing OFF -HELGA

I feel as though I am somewhat of a rational person but life often places me in situations where I become irrational. I usually contradict myself and at times have been known to have murderous fits of self loathing. I am a creature of emotions and tend to allow them to carry me off into treacherous journeys of lunacy. I love to write but my mechanics are rudimentary at best. I have a habit of going on tangents at great length that usually end in nothing but mere verbose rhetoric. I offer no apologies in regards to this. 99.3% of the time my head is in the clouds. You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. The past two days I have realized I might be in love. I hope he feels the same way

ode to you vacuum salesman guy you absterge the carpet with such cultivationas your silver contrivance devours every molecule of mayhem you simper at the recognition of your obsidian chompersas you peer into your commiserable personage you notice that your life is full of mortification for you have failed you do not speculate ways to make it convalescent you just sit and grovel in your misfortunes and drop small ones on the floor

Dear Ali. Dear T.V., I want you to know that I really enjoy watching you. I know that sometimes I can't watch you as much as I would like. But I am writing you to tell you that sometimes I wish you weren't around. Its not that I don't like you, please see above, its just that sometimes I put off things that I need to do because I'm so engrossed in what's going on in your world. Missing out, Ali Dear pills, I know that I am supposed to take you every night because you will help me sleep. I understand that you are only trying to help me. The problem is that when I take you, the next day I am so out of it I can barely function. And then when that passes I crave food so much I am in fear of becoming morbidly obese. Unable to function and pigging out, Ali Dear Newports, You help level my mood swings but I can barely get thru a conversation without coughing. I tried quitting but everytime I get mad I smoke like there will be none of you left at the gas station. I can't help thinking of you all the time. You are like the love of my life thats never going away ....just killing me. Dying slowly of lung cancer, Ali Dear Math 098, I know that in taking your class I will be more prolific in solving algebraic equations. The problem is, I barely understand you. I spend hours of time trying to learn you but to no avail. Then I feel hopeless and stupid. You are disheartening to me and make me feel like a failure. Then I don't want to study you at all and I fail the next test and feel like even more of a moron. Dumb and Self Loathing, Ali Dear Whiskey, Thanks for all the liquid courage you given me throughout the years. After making me feel like superman , I turn into a cranky bitch with a headache. But still thank you for all the nights I don't remember and the headache the next day. Still drinking and broke from buying advil, Ali Dear Love, You will be the death of me. Thanks for putting me on top of the world just to do a quick turnaround to bitch slap me in the face. I give great advice about you but never listen to what I'm actually saying. The last time I tried you ,you screwed me big time. So yes now I'm scared of actually trying you again. And I hate the butterflies you give me and the stupid things you make me do and say. Heart broken and naive, Ali Dear Ali, I know that you are constantly wrestling with your life. Please know that I wish nothing but the best for you. But I know that you are a procrastinator. You tend to run from your problems and sometimes you are selfish and hateful. You complain about society and wish for change, but for the most part you don't do shit about it. Introspect-fully yours, Ali