jtaylor218's blog: "check it out....i'm ranting again!!"

well damn it, i found this place where i can download seasons 1 and 2 of south of nowhere, but it puts limits on you. like i can only download 2 episodes on this computer in a certain amount of time. the thing just told me i have to wait 3.5 hours to download more...well that puts me at 9:00...time to go home. oh well, i'll do 2 more tomorrow. in the meantime, i'll just watch some of jeffery's youtube videos. :) i started the atkins thing today. its going really well...not too difficult. i guess you could call today, tomorrow, and saturday "practice days" cause i plan on drinking beer on new year's eve. so i'm using these 3 days to practice how to follow the atkins diet. so new year's day will actually be day 1. i know its like why even bother controlling what i'm eating so much if i'm gonna go and fuck it up in 3 days. well, i think the practice time is good for me. i was once on atkins a long time ago, and it worked. the hardest thing was those 1st few days. so i'll practice now, so when i really start it, it wont seem so bad. when i was leaving the gym today, i looked down on the ground right by my car door and i saw...a gummy bear. and ya know, i'm not even that big a fan of gummy anything, BUT knowing i cant have that sugar...that sucks. so i was like "oh my god a gummy bear, thats mean!!" lol i cant wait to go home. i'm quite tired.

i am so out of control. i dont get it. i do so well for a little while, and then i go INSANE. if ya havent paid attention to my shit, i gained 3 lbs since weigh in day. and you would think that would give me motivation to do better...but no!! it makes me do WORSE. like here in a minute, i'm about to order a damn pizza. yeah, good idea fatty. so tomorrow, i'm starting the atkins diet. i am i am. it works. i'm gonna do it until i get down to 120 pounds, and then i'm gonna control myself really hard, so if i get back up to around 125, thats fine, but i'll try not to. i threw the atkins plan out a long time ago...even though it did work on me once. one of my friends was looking at pictures of me and he made a comment about how skinny i looked in this one picture...and i'm like oh yeah that was thanks to atkins. you can maintain your weight after losing it with atkins...you just cant go all insane and eat 45 pizzas after you lose the weight. LOL okay i was exaggerating, but you know what i'm saying. i'm SICK of being the fat girl. i'm SICK of weighing 150 pounds. its fucking DISGUSTING. i'm sick of DAMN NEAR EVERYONE making comments about my weight. i tell you what...i cant even explain how many times i've come so close to just doing something insanely drastic to drop the weight. lord knows i couldnt be anorexic, but theres other ways. i'm afraid of fucking up stuff on the inside though...that keeps me away from resorting to those drastic measures. but i tell you what, i will NOT continue to be the fat girl...hmm, how many times have you all heard me say that shit?? yeah i know...a LOT. and its annoying to me cause people talk about how horrible atkins is for you. yeah, its not the BEST diet in the world, cause you are never supposed to cut out complete food groups. BUT, you gradually end up adding carbs back into your diet. and if you actually read the diet rules, you would see that its not actually 100% cutting carbs out of your life. but the sad thing is, most people think of it as eggs, cheese, and meat only. lol no thats not how you do atkins. thats what wrestlers do to drop weight super fast...not atkins people. and like i said, you do gradually put all the food groups back into your diet. i'm done talking about this...i think i shall order my pizza now. EAT UP, FATASS!!

okay seriously, from last week to this week, i have gained 3 pounds. jesus, i know its the holidays and stuff, and people tend to eat more during the holidays, but fuck, i wasnt aware that i did that damn horrible. 3 fucking pounds!! i know this is stupid, but today i'm going a bit extreme on the food thing. i dont think that i care today. i hate when this happens. cause i'll do good and bust my ass at the gym, and then my weight doesnt say what i want it to, so i eat a lot?? that makes no fucking sense, i know, but whatever. i'm considering going extreme on the atkins diet until i drop down to maybe 120 pounds...then i can watch my ass and try not to go back up. atkins sucks, but damn it, it works. my gym has a bunch of aerobics classes starting after the 8th...so i'm going to start getting involved in those. i like aerobics classes, and they have water ones!! seriously, after getting to play on myspace for a decent amount this weekend...i realized how much CT does suck. i mean i tried to convince myself that it was so cool and that it was so much better than myspace...but the truth is...it just isnt. i HATE that bastard for blocking my myspace. i hope his christmas sucked.

okay i just posted that last blog...and i noticed i got a shit load of points... was it from the blog?? :) oh yeah, bitches, if you're reading this one and didnt read the one before, go back and fucking read it.

i've been sitting here most of the day randomly rating people's pictures and leaving random comments on pictures and rating profiles and all kinds of shit like that for this... I WANT TO POST A FUCKING POLL!! i am going to call them polls, cause i dont like that gay word they use for them...how retarded. but anyway, i have to be at level 5 to post one, and i'm like 2 hundred something points away from that. lame, i know. i'll get there eventually. my work gets on my last fucking nerve. i got paperwork from one of the drivers, and someone who works here was like "did you get all 5 pages?" and i'm like "yes" and he's like "are you sure?" and i'm like "yes" and i sit there and go through them again one more time. and he WATCHES me go through them...so then why the fuck does he pick up the papers and go through them one more fucking time like i'm a moron?? oh i was shitty. i'm thinking okay fuck you, you can go ahead and stay here and put the damn signatures in too while you're getting all in my space and shit. this place is fucking LAME sometimes. i mean seriously, people get all in my business when i'm doing anything here. its very very annoying.

so somehow tacos turned into spaghetti...weird how that happens. LOL anyway, its an outback night tonight. i am so fucking excited!! we used to have outback seriously like once a week lol, and now that we havent had it in like a month, we act like its been 4 years. yummmmmmmmmmmmmm outback special!! our internet has been crashing a bunch since lastnight...i swear i was afraid it was from CT. but its not...comcast has been being a fucking dick for the past 2 days. i dont know why my work wastes their time dealing with those fuckers. oh my lord, we had a really shitty fireplace experience lastnight!! for some reason, the fireplace quit sucking the fire up and out the chimney, and it was blowing it out into the house instead. so we went to sleep and kept the bedroom door shut to try to keep the smoke out as best as possible. ha well that shit didnt work. i woke up and felt like my lungs were on fire. LOL we are dumbasses. who sleeps in a house full of smoke?? THAT IS FUNNY!! so when i woke up in the morning, i opened the bedroom door, and i couldnt even see in front of my fucking face...it was so so smokey. so i took a shower, and i was dressed, had my hair dried, and all of that shit within like 20 minutes... and i still smell like a fucking campfire. i smell like i slept in the damn fireplace. LOL its nasty. so then i used this lotion hoping it would offset the smoke smell...but the fucking lotion is this EVERGREEN scent. so not only do i smell like campfire, but i smell like... A DAMN FOREST FIRE. i rock.

how many times am i gonna change my place of blogging?? well hell, its not my fault that my work blocked myspace, and its not my fault that LJ is kinda lame...but shit, i MUST blog. i start getting pissed if i havent done a blog in awhile. so this site seems pretty cool...it actually is way better than myspace. and of course its better than LJ. i wonder how many places people will follow me to read my blogs?? we'll see. i cant wait to go home and eat tacos, cause i swear to god i'm STARVING.