i am so out of control. i dont get it. i do so well for a little while, and then i go INSANE. if ya havent paid attention to my shit, i gained 3 lbs since weigh in day. and you would think that would give me motivation to do better...but no!! it makes me do WORSE. like here in a minute, i'm about to order a damn pizza. yeah, good idea fatty.
so tomorrow, i'm starting the atkins diet. i am i am. it works. i'm gonna do it until i get down to 120 pounds, and then i'm gonna control myself really hard, so if i get back up to around 125, thats fine, but i'll try not to.
i threw the atkins plan out a long time ago...even though it did work on me once. one of my friends was looking at pictures of me and he made a comment about how skinny i looked in this one picture...and i'm like oh yeah that was thanks to atkins. you can maintain your weight after losing it with atkins...you just cant go all insane and eat 45 pizzas after you lose the weight. LOL okay i was exaggerating, but you know what i'm saying.
i'm SICK of being the fat girl. i'm SICK of weighing 150 pounds. its fucking DISGUSTING. i'm sick of DAMN NEAR EVERYONE making comments about my weight. i tell you what...i cant even explain how many times i've come so close to just doing something insanely drastic to drop the weight. lord knows i couldnt be anorexic, but theres other ways. i'm afraid of fucking up stuff on the inside though...that keeps me away from resorting to those drastic measures.
but i tell you what, i will NOT continue to be the fat girl...hmm, how many times have you all heard me say that shit?? yeah i know...a LOT. and its annoying to me cause people talk about how horrible atkins is for you. yeah, its not the BEST diet in the world, cause you are never supposed to cut out complete food groups. BUT, you gradually end up adding carbs back into your diet. and if you actually read the diet rules, you would see that its not actually 100% cutting carbs out of your life.
but the sad thing is, most people think of it as eggs, cheese, and meat only. lol no thats not how you do atkins. thats what wrestlers do to drop weight super fast...not atkins people. and like i said, you do gradually put all the food groups back into your diet.
i'm done talking about this...i think i shall order my pizza now.
EAT UP, FATASS!!
