PieceOfAdvice's blog: "Captain Black"

Go, Black!! I am the terror that flaps in the night... I am the screeching fingernail on the chalkboard of justice... I am the sourball in the candyjar of goodness... I am the grade curve that gives you an 'F'... I am the fast food that comes back to haunt you... I am the neurosis that requires a $500 an hour shrink... I am the special news bulletin that interrupts your favorite show... I am the wierdo that sits next to you on the bus... I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3 a.m... I am the bug that splatters on your winshield... I am the termite that devours your floorboards.... I am the raspberry seed you can't floss out... I am the onion that stings in your eye.... I am the hairball that clogs your drains... I am the low ratings that cancel your program... I am the auditor that wants to look at your books... I am the itch you cannot reach... I am the smoke that smokes Smoked Oysters... I am the ten dollar service charge on all returned checks... I am the water balloon that lands right on your head... I am the widget missing from the easy to assemble swingset... I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime... I am the zit that forms when you got a really big date... I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries... I am the blown fuse that blacks you out... I am the repairman who tells you your warranty run out... I am the weed wacker in the garden of evil... I am the clock cleaner who will ring your chime (I like this one)... I am the switch that derails your train... I am the surprise in your cereal box ( I like this one too)... I am the chill that runs up your spine (okay, we are officially on a roll now)... I am the pencil that breaks from signing too many autographs... I am the single career man all women want to date (corny)... I am the groundbreaker, down-pounding ground shaker! I am the thunder-maker, underworldly undertaker (Ladies and Gentlemen... we have a winner)!!! I AM CAPTAIN BLACK!!!