Every now and then I listen to weepy chicks with pianos.
Usually when I can't sleep.
I don't think that's the worst thing I can be caught doing.
I still feel nothing.
I mean... even when I'm thinking fondly about someone... there's just nothing really there.
I'm told I'm supposed to have feelings associated to these images and memories in my head, mostly I just think "that'd be nice... wouldn't it?".
I think I get lost in those moments. Play-acting as someone else... and I just get trapped in that trick.
Like I'm watching someone else live my life.
I don't even get angry any more... I just run to this blank space in my head.
I'm not really there, I'm just what you were expecting.
I don't think there's a treatment for pretending to be human.
And even if I responded
how can you be that sure
that I'm not just acting.
I recall some faint warning from Orwell about Unpersons...
I don't feel all that concerned.