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I am not a grammar snob. Not everyone has the privilege of a good or even an adequate education, and not everyone cares about grammar/punctuation/spelling. I know that some terrible spellers are quite intelligent, while others are simply aural learners rather than visual learners, making misspelling even more likely. For the most part, typos don’t upset me, but I do notice them. I make errors all the time because I almost never proofread something that isn’t business-related, which I’m sure will eventually make itself apparent. You will find no high-horse stance from me. I make too many mistakes.
I *do* have preferences, though, and there are one or two errors that are, perhaps… oh, how shall I put it? “Like rasping 40-grit sandpaper against my fresh sunburn” may cover it. That doesn’t mean I am a snob. I may be a little anal, but I am not a snob. My anxiety around Random Capitalization is nothing compared to my near-agony at the disappearance of the final series comma. How did it happen? Where could it possibly go? When, for the love of God and the Holy Mother, did black become white, and up become down? The earth is flat you say?
You remember. The series comma is used in a list (or series) of items, e.g., “dogs, cats, fish, and creepy rat-like ferrets.” Without the commas, the sentence wouldn’t make sense: “dogs cats fish and creepy rat-like ferrets.” Nobody leaves out the earlier ones because the result is so clearly wrong.
I was taught that there should always be a comma before the “and” in a series of items. It was as sure as… as…. um, M*A*S*H repeats airing somewhere on late-night television. It’s not as if eliminating one keystroke will save much time, or that it is so much to request, such as demanding perfect spelling, sentence construction, AND grammar. (Please note the comma after “construction.”) Was it really costing us something? Maybe it started with a message that “you have exceeded the maximum number of characters,” and deleting that one comma brought the total number down just enough. Many magazines and newspapers leave out “final” comma in magazines and newspapers, which made me doubt my convictions at one time. After checking myself repeatedly, I know that I am right. ;)
You find my grievance niggling, do you? Understand that in the past several years, I have seen the final series comma elbowed out of its prominent and long-standing position. Its fall from an prestigious and guaranteed position to a place of near-obscurity is frightening. If this is possible, what else could happen? The warm welcome of run-on sentences in formal writing? The willy-nilly substitution of “affect” for “effect”?
It’s correct to use that comma; it is also “considered” correct to leave it out, but it just…. BOTHERS me. Punctuation is important because it can change the meaning of a sentence. It *does* matter, by God. You might have read the following example:
An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “Woman: Without her, man is nothing.”
Punctuation made two sentences that were radically different in meaning. The importance of this comma is similar. Its omission can make for confusing reading. Consider the following sentence:
In the picnic basket were several different types of sandwiches: turkey, peanut butter, roast beef and cheese.
Are there four types of sandwiches or three?
Divide the lottery money equally among the following: Mary, the Johnson family, Nigel and Lulu.
Mary gets 33%, the Johnson family gets 33%, and Nigel and Lulu get 33% (or 16.5% to Nigel and 16.5% to Lulu). Right? Or is it that Mary gets 25%, the Johnson family gets 25%, Nigel gets 25%, and Lulu gets 25%?
No, it’s time to save the “comma-that-precedes-‘and’-in-a-series,” henceforth simplified to as CTPTAIAS. A few of my friends are aware of my advocacy, and most certainly all of my former co-workers have been exposed to The Truth. You would be surprised, as I was, to find that most people actually do not care!! Many of them had never heard of such a thing! I did have a significant impact on a former co-worker, and one of my friends has also taken up the cause. May the god/esses be with them in our fight.
**Les Mis’ “Do You Hear the People Sing” begins to play, crescendos….
I’m bringing it back.
(Will you join in my crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?)
**Les Mis’ “Do You Hear the People Sing” fades out…. Curtain.
