How do you convince someone that being treated well is something we all deserve? How do you show them that their past does not deside what they deserve?
These are hard questions and i have no direct answers or solutions. But i can say this from my own heart.
Everyone deserves to be treated right, no matter what has been done in their past to them. I do understand how hard it is to accept good things when your use to such bad things. But breaking that norm while hard is the best thing for everyone. We all desire to be loved, and cherished, we desire a friend and a lover who is true to their ending breath.
Yet when we have bad experiance after bad experiance we tend to see that as our norm. We tend to deside that its us creating the bad realtionships, when we are not the ones to blame. Our only blame is not seeing the truth, but even the truth can lay hidden for days, months, or years. And once we see the truth alot of times we try to convince ourselfs its not real. This is natural, as noone wants to feel like a failure in their own eyes or in the minds of others.
It is hard and i do understand that. I myself have my own problems, my own doubts about who i am. My only saving grace is to understand and to keep closest to my heart, is that in everyone is goodness, and in everyone is the ability to love. For me and i have had some woman who i dated, who felt that i was to nice. And they left me cause they were afraid they would hurt me. Well they failed to relise that life is not 100% fun and games, and there will be a time you hurt the other, unintentionally. And it is not the fact that you hurt them that matters, what matters is how you get passed it as lovers.
For me all i can say to those who might think, hey this person is to nice for me. Because you have had nothing but bad times, or because you feel your not as good as them. Let me remind you of this simple fact. We all know that who you are around most, will influnce the person you are. If they cuss alot, you will cuss alot. If they are polite you will be polite. Actions of others around us, tend to shape us on the subconcious level. It happens to everyone and noone is immune. Sometimes we consiously avoid certain things that happen around us, like those who smoke pot and offer it to me, well i say no, cause i consiously do not want it. And you to might do the same with other things, language or actions around you.
But you have to remember, those around us that help shape us, are the ones who make us who we are. Who we chose to assosiate with also shapes us, and for those who have that to nice a partner, or intrest remember this.
If you feel you are not worthy of them, stop right there and think like this. Because of this person, i can learn to be a better person. So instead of thinking you have to avoid them, instead take them on board in your life, and encourage yourself to be near them. And subconsiously you will slowly change your outlook on life, and on yourself. As you relise everyone deserves to be treated well.
Just like laughter is contagious, so is treating others well. And while you may not know how to do it yet, you will learn by example. And so long as you desire to be happy, you will one day be happy. Think of that nice person as something contagious something you want to catch, and keep them close, and never doubt yourself and how you will treat them. As they treat you well, you will treat them well in return. If your communication is good, and you do not take offence when they feel wronged, and tell you then you are a good person, one that is a great friend, and lover.
And most importantly to remember is this, that nice person choses to give compassion and understanding to people. They also carry in them a larger ability to forgive then most, so even if you fell you treated them wrong, do not think your bad because of it. They will not hold it against you, and they will soon forget it happened. Just like you do with a child thats learning. We must remember in life we are all still children, and we must remember that learning is a never ending journey in life. And those nice people relise this, and will always forgive you when your down, and not feeling so good. Trust in them, and they will give you strength and happiness, and remember you do deserve it because those nice people chose who to give their love to.
Copyright 31 March 2008 J. Stacy (aka uglypoet)
Feel free to print this out if you want, i would spell check it first.. but please keep the copyright on it if you do thank you so much for your kind words.
