PunkStarChik's blog: "Book Of Shadows"

I woke up a little late than I planned to but I made it out to the beach still at a good time. I haven't ever gone to the beach all by myself but I had a good time. The first thing I did there was go on the beach of course. Took off my shoes and walked around the beach for a while. Tried to find some good sand dollars or any shells. Took some photos..

Then I went down town in Seaside. Did a bit of shopping and looking around. It's been years since I been down to Seaside Oregon. I grabbed some lunch at some pub place. I had half of a chicken salad cranberry sandwich and a cup of clam chowder. It was good.

Bought 17 bucks worth of salt water taffy. Mmmm! Had a sample of fudge. They had some weird treat of Twinkies but they like dipped it in some type of candy to where it had different flavors. I took a picture of that.

Went back to the beach and walked around for a while. Played in the water. Found some sand dollars and put them in my bag. Yay!! Spent a bit longer on the beach, doing some thinking and enjoying the time at the beach. Even though I was there alone, I had a great relaxing time.

Went back into down and looked at a few more shops then I left. I stopped at this one park that I used to go to when I was younger with my family. They had this BIG huge doughlas fur tree or something...was the biggest in Oregon but after a huge wind storm a couple years ago, the tree got hit or something, I dunno and it started to die. When I got there, it was pretty much gone...broken in half. It was such a huge and beautiful tree. I took some pics of the after damange.

Then I went on a nature trail that was near by. Took some photos of some plants and all. Then I drove back home. I think I may go back there again...it's not a far drive...just an hour and half.

Stopped at Starbucks to grab some coffee then I came home and started to upload photos that I took. Rich and his mom came home and some how Rich and I got into this little arguement.

I told him how I felt again. How I felt nothing could ever bring us back together and that maybe I should move out. Even though I really don't have any place to go or could afford it, but I can save up I guess. Then I told him maybe we should just get a dirvoce. He stopped talking for a bit. He said that he didn't want any of us to move out. He didn't say anything about the dirvorce thing.

We talked a bit more, calmly. How things have been going...what may have started this and all...I told him that I was sorry that I didn't have any feelings for him anymore and that I hadn't for a while. I asked him how he felt and he said he's been feeling a bit of the same way. He told me that he was sorry for a lot of things that he has done in the past and what he hasn't done and how he didn't even try to work things out.

I learned from him that he never really enjoyed the stuff that I enjoyed....like going fishing, camping, to the beach, shopping...whatever... I wish that he could of told me that. I know now to never ask him to join me in some of those things. he says he enjoys being a gamer, being lazy and watching tv. Okay...if that's how he likes it, then alright.

I love the outdoors. I don't like being home all the time. I get bored. I like to get out...do things...see new things that I haven't seen or haven't in a while. I enjoy it...and I thought he did too...guess I was worng.

I don't know if we resolved anything...it was nice we had this talk....but I think we will just continue to live with each other, help each other out with some things, but sometime in the future, we will go our seperate ways. I honestly don't see anything happening to where we'd ever get back together. We'll stay friends....Some people may think it's stupid that we would still live together, some have told me that already but I don't want to make anything more difficulte until we're able to go out our own ways...if that makes sense...