Good Morning. It’s Friday and I was going to do my rendition of Valentines Day and what the day was about and why we seem to honor those that in this day and age might not normally be honored. But, here is my thought process. I will save that for Monday because Valentine’s Day will only be a few days away if I do that and not these three added days yet before the weekend. Today I want to mention the difference between asking and telling. Here is one big difference…one is a kinder more gentle approach and the other is more of a demand approach. Oh first off sad note about Anna Nicole Smith. I wonder if there is a higher mortality rate among X playmates or people who lose a lot of weight and can’t handle the transformation…Neither am I suggesting are any form of her death but thinking beauty sometimes begets death and so does lack of correct body weight and handling ones nourishments. Ok once again it’s a sad day in the fandom of Anna Nicole. On with the true difference of asking or telling. First off what urged me to write this little tidbit was a dear friend who is struggling with a situation where she does not want to hurt another because an attraction of a person who believes they are in love with her due to her showing a kind word and interest in his life. Ok enough of that she knows who she is and does not need named. This might make the morality of it a little clearer. Montgomery Gentry a well known country singer has a song along the lines of and also another reason I choose this over the Valentine Day missive. His song entitled “ She Don’t Tell Me To” and here are a few lines from it and the reason I am writing this today.
Every now an' then, on my home,
I stop at a spot where the wild flowers grow, an' I pick a few,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
I go out with my boys all right,
But most of the time I call it a night before they do,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
Sunday mornin', I'm in church,
An' my butt an' my back an' necktie hurt, but I'm in the pew,
She don't tell me to.
Any other woman I know would have tried,
To control me and it would be over.
Plannin' on my goin' on my own way attitude.
All of that stubborness melts away,
When I wake with her head on my shoulder,
An' I know I've got to love her,
Until my life is through,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
Ok enough Country Lyrics for one mornin’ , you know I had to spell Morning that way….ok.. on with the ditty.
See in his song, had I went further you can see by his words he has chosen the wrong women in the past, controlling, jealous and demanding women. Both sexes have these people and they are out there and control each and every move that some of us make. Controlling by a person does not make there love for you stronger then being with a person who wants what you do or wants your opinion. Many make the mistake of having to be guided in everything they do until one day they do not wish to be guided any longer. That is the day mostly if not all relationships crumble. See, asking what a person wants is a kinder gentler approach then telling a person what they want. I really do not need to give any examples here it is more then self explained in his song and by just being yourself. Having an opinion. Having an opinion and talking that opinion over with one’s significant other makes for a more rewarding more satisfying relation I would like to think. I will say this of most men, but it also applies to women as well. Telling a person what you want is like placing an order at McDonalds Drive up. They are in tune with being ready for your orders… and that is what telling a person to do instead of asking them to do it. You surely would not want to ask the drive up window person “what do I want?” Because they will tell, especially if you get a mad as a wet hen ghetto momma on the other end of the speaker and she says: “I don’t know what the hell you want but you best get the hell out the way and let the next person in line up to the speaker to place their damned order is what I am saying!” Delivery is 9/10 of any relationship. Asking not telling, wanting an opinion not giving. Listening and hearing is better then nodding and not knowing what you nodded to or they do. People hurt people everyday due to messing up the soup. Stir it once and watch it to make sure it doesn’t burn and the product normally tastes great. Over stir it, control it and demand it taste good and you Mize well have dumped the kitty litter into a bowl and poured milk in it and chowed down. Because you will have down nothing better then stirred it until it stunk! This letter was not geared to hurt anyone’s feelings but to say, hey, treat people like you wish to be treated and the world becomes that better place we all know it can be. Asking not Telling is a start. We all have an opinion let it be heard. As well as hear others opinions. Montgomery Gentry meant well by his song and saying he was in love with a girl who was not controlling and bossy. I think we all are….
A great weekend I surely hope is in store for you. The best wishes sometimes do come true.
A huge hug and a soft pat and you are on your way..
Mart
