I sit here and wonder why I make so many mistakes and then do it again later on. I try to be happy with what I have then everything seems to go wrong, Either because a guy can promise me the world or something sounds so good, while in the long run it was all a crock of shit. The I look around after all the shit has settled and realize that I have hurt a lot of people and myself in the long run. I know I can't change the past and am supposed to learn from it but I don't think I will ever totally grasp that concept. I am very sorry for everyone I have hurt and I know I can't change what happened. I just hope one day that maybe and I don't know if I am grasping at straws or not but I hope that stuff can start to go back to the way it was. I have royally messed up this time and I regret stuff for the second time in my life. I know nobody is perfect but I know there is even limits to what happens. You can only mess up so much before people do give up on you. I know i am at my breaking point and I wish I could fix everything for everyone but I know I have a lot of work on my hands and I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix it. I sit here and I know some of you are probably thinking " I have herd this from her before." And you are right but I swear I will set things right... even if it kills me in the end. I know thats going to extremes but the people that I hurt with my actions are truly worth it and I would do anything to have them be happy again and not being mad or upset. So I do apologize with all my heart for hurting you and you guys know who you are. I hope this doesn't reach you too late even though I know I am too late for a few...
