Jasmine's blog: "Stuff!"

Well I dunno where to start but lets just say we pretty much did everything there was to do in Amsterdam (in the Red light District) apart from magic mushrooms and whores.

Gawd I really need to poop.

Anyways our HOSTEL (I lost my hostel virginity) was SHOCKING. I mean it was so dark in there, everything was painted black! And it just felt icky. Not to mention we were on the 4th floor with no bloody elevators!!! (Had to drag my suitcase all the way up there, stupid hostels don't have bell boys). AND because we had changed rooms, I went to go see the room we eventually stayed in to see what it was like but when I went to see it hadn't been cleaned yet, and you can DEFINITELY tell that 4 boys had stayed in there previously. Gross. I mean I thought our room was bad but on the last day when we had checked out, I went to use the toilets and I realised that those toilets were for the use of people staying in the dormitories there. At least we had a private room and ensuite but those other people had to use the public toilet and showers everyday! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I'm never trying to be cool again and stay in a hostel.

Drugs: Yea okay we all smoked some, and I mean some as in everyday and whenever we got bored. :O We found a cafe that we liked (a lot of cafe's sold joints and stuff) and tried a space cake! It just tasted like normal cake. All the smoking did was give me the giggles and make me wanna go sleeeeeep. My cousin had the REALLY bad munchies, the woman would not stop eating. On the last day whilst we were waiting to leave for the hotel me and my cousin got REALLY bored so we'd decided to go back to the cafe for one last smoke, you always have to order a drink so I went for my usual (hot milk) and she had a hot chocolate, she asked if they put weed in hot chocolate and they do so she decided to try it! I tried to see if they would put some in my milk but they just laughed and said no. :( Anyways they put a gram of weed in the hot chocolate and it was gross! It was like munching on bits of grass that tasted like brussel sprouts. The last joint we smoked we just had the lightest one they had, but the cafe owner was trying trying to persuade us to try a pure one (it went weed, hash and then the pure one) and he said we could fly to the airport before actually flying lolz. We didn't think it was a good idea. Anyways we were smoking and chatting when we saw our friend come over from the hostel to get us cos it was nearly time to go, the cafe owner suggested we hide from her so we did! We hid behind the bar area next to him and could hear him telling her that he hadn't seen us. Was so hard to keep the giggles in. Anyways we left for the last time and I asked for the cafe owner to get the bill for our drinks and smoke but he said it was on the house, cos he knew we were leaving and told us to come back another time to pay for it. :p On the way home my cousin had the brain wave of trying to make our friend (who came looking for us) think that she was tripping out. We got back and told her we were sat in front of her waving the whole time but she just came in and ignored us...she still thinks that's what happened now...

Sex stuff!: We went to see a peepshow, it's like a thing where you go in a lil room and you put 2 euros in and you shut the door, the window clears and you just see a naked girl dancing. Even though you're not normally allowed in two people at a time the guy who worked there let us I think cos he knew we were just mucking around. And the girl was pretty/nice figure and stuff but I was just like ZOMG what do we do? Just stare at her? I was just like :o for most of it and she giggled at us a lil bit I think. I was all like OMG you can see her coochie! (She bent over). We left before the timer was up though cos it was just weird and I think we all just felt liek perverts.

On the 2nd or 3rd night (I can't remember) we went to a SEX SHOW! I can't believe we actually went to one. It cost me 30 Euro's (45 for drinks too but I didn't get that) My cousin gave me half her drinks vouchers, I had a vodka and orange juice, and I swear it was doubled...was so strong I couldn't even drink it. And then I didn't know what to do with my last voucher cos I didn't want anymore drinks but didn't want to waste it, and no one else was drinking. So my cousin told me to just ask for a shot with it, I did...and it was definitely NOT a shot. It was more like 3 shots, it took up a third of a normal glass. I nearly threw up.

Anyways, the sex show. After the intial shock of ZOMG they're having sex on stage and he's got a giant ween, it was kinda boring after. All the people in it were good looking and stuff as well but it was boring because it was such a routine. I mean the guy humped the girl in time to the music! I remember thinking, when this girl had her legs in the air, 'oooh I like her shoes'. There were a few strip teases too, one girl pulled multicoloured ribbon out of her foo foo and another smoked a cigar with hers. The only interesting show really was the one where the lady got the guys in the audience to participate, it was funneeeeeeey.

After the sex show I think we were all a bit drunk, I know I was. And we went into a sex shop next door to have a look around. I picked up a fluffy bunny cuddly toy and went 'awwwwwwwwh look!' and then realised it had a giant penis and hairy balls. Anyway one of our friend (Dana) was messing around and asked the guy what she had to do for a free vibrator and he said he'd give her one for free for a blowy! This guy was actually being serious, he said he has closed up the shop before to do stuff like that (they has a little room in the back). And then Dana pointed out that he'd actually had a boner and he did! Pervert.

Red Light Window girls: Basically all prossies are in a window with a red light around them, I saw a few blue light ones too! (Tranny). And they just try to entice men into their window basically but like jiggling their boobs at them or something. Apparently the going rate for a 'suck and f**k' is 50 euros (I read that in a tourist magazine). Dana and I were stood at the top of the stairs of our hotel (just outside the door) and some guy offered us 55 euros. We were both like 'hey that's more than a red light window girl and we didn't even need a red light!'...and then after I was like hmmm I think we should be offended not proud of this. :o And then a man tripped and stumbled and then said 'oopsy'...Dana told me he fell over cos he was staring at us (She was looking in his direction) but I was too busy laughing at his 'oopsy'.

Oh aaaaaaaaaand we saw a sign for a 'Thai Massage' and I've had proper thai massages and I really wanted one. It was a locked door where you had to ring a doorbell for someone to come over, and for aaaaaaages we couldn't figure out whether it was a proper massage place or whether it was a 'happy ending' massage place. So Dana rings the door bell and I see a lady walk over (has a huge window) in her underwear and I was like 'okay guys I'm pretty sure this isn't the kind of massage we were looking for!'. Dana ran away and the Thai lady saw me and I didn't know what to do so I just smiled and waved at her like a dork...then ran away.

Okay so I did do some proper stuff whilst in Amsterdam, we went to the Amsterdam dungeons (which was fun) and Anne Frank's house. Anne Frank's house did make me feel a lil bit emotional though. It's more than just a museum, hard to describe really.

Food: Ooooh they have this thing called a Febo place where it's like a vending machine place for hot food (snacks) it was sooo cute! I had a mini burger! I love mini stuff! We got completely ripped off at this one MacDonalds though, I paid 7 Euros for a filet o fish meal!!!

And the beer is cheaper than a drink of coke! WTF?

I think we only had one really big WTF moment though with the hotel's night time receptionist.

Right I honestly REALLY thought this guy was gay but apparently nobody else thought so...

Anyways after the Thai massage incident I asked the receptionist man for places nearby that does proper massages and he told me to go outside with him to show me directions so I was like okay, he started giving me directioons like pointing this way and that and then he said that at this time it was too late and that he'd give me one instead. All that time I was just like nodding along to his direction giving and then I was like WTF?! did I just hear that right??? And I was like 'ummmmmmmmm'...I didn't know what to say, I hate being rude even to people that are saying stuff like that! And thats not even the most creepy part, after a while we were all just talking to him and joking around trying to pimp out our other friend (Ellie) to him for a bit of jam and toast (we had the munchies) and anyways we were talking and he just casually asked what room we were staying in and I told him *Facepalm I know* At the time I didn't think much of it cos I figured he would find out anyway as he is the receptionist.

Anyhoo, we all went up to our room, got into our jammies and then someone knocked on the door and I opened it (the stupid doors don't have peepholes) and the receptionist guy was stood there! I was like what the hell???? And I just told Ellie it was for her and then hid in my bed. He actually came in and tried to give her a massage! And we all said we'd look away but then Dana sat up to see what they were doing, and apparently Ellie was getting comfy till Dana saw her and then she just went 'get oooooooooffff'. I just had the mad giggles until then he decided to come sit on MY bed. I was actually pooping myself, he was sat behind me and kept touching me!!!! I didn't know what to say cos I'm bad at being rude, even at times liek this! So I just kept hinting it was time for us all to go to bed (about 1000000 times) and then he decided to get the hint and left. I still can't believe he came up to our room. I was a bit worried too cos they all have keys to our rooms obviously.

Anyways as ickey as our room was, it did give like the best entertainment ever.

We had loads red window girls opposite us and we all just played pervert spotting and see which guys were going into the windows and which ones were considering it. It's funny to see a guy walk out, look around and then pretend nothing happened! I was looking out the window this one time and a pigeon flew at me and made me fall over. :(

And lastly, my dad rang me at the airport and was like what did you guys do? I was like ermmmmm museums and stuff (We went to a sex museum) and then he asked me if I smoked any weed, I was thinking about it and then by time I realised it was too late to lie so I was just like yeaaaaaaa and I had a spacecake too. My dad just laughed...I'm still in shock about how I didn't get my arse chewed off!

So yea that's that, most people in Amsterdam are just really nice and friendly, although the guys int he red light district assume that girls are up for it all the time, the people in the cafe bars are really friendly too.

Oh and I uploaded a pic of a red light window girl from our bedroom window, we took it from there cos we're not allowed to take pictures of them at all lol.