FERNLEY FLYER
… all the news a person needs to know
January 10, 2007
CROP DAMAGE
An entire acre of Pappy Yokum’s four-acre corn crop was destroyed last Tuesday when Scooter Jeeter’s hog got loose from its pen. Yokum is holding the hog for damages. Jeeter told Flyer Field Reporter, Christopher Planet, that he intends to offer a bag of turnips as restitution if the pig is returned.
SHINE PRODUCTION DOWN
Moonshine production in Fernley is expected to drop by 25% as a result of an unanticipated corn crop failure.
ROBERY REPORTED
An unnamed traveler from nearby Fallon was hit over the head with what appeared to be a fence post from a pigsty, and robbed while walking through Fernley with a bag of turnips. Chief Investigating Officer Fife of the Fernley Police Department issued a statement on Monday. “This one’s a real puzzle,” he said.
MOTHER MAXON TAKES A FALL
Mother Maxon broke her hip at the Fernley First Revival Church social last Saturday after slipping on a pile of pork and beans that had spilled from Mabel Tucker’s casserole dish during the potluck affair. Several parishioners of the church reported seeing Maxon drinking elderberry wine behind the toilets at the park where the festivities were held. According to Reverend Tillman, “A good time was had by all.”
FERNLEY MOTTO APPROVED
After months of deliberation, the Fernley City Counsel has approved a city motto. “Fenley Happens” bumper stickers are now available for a dollar fifty at the Silver Spur Saloon and Fred’s Pawn Shop.
