spookysg's blog: "all about me"

ASAYINGS: All generalizations are false, including this one. All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power. Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. - Irene Peter Always remember no matter where you go, there you are. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Ambition is the last refuge of the failure. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly. Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do. Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. - Pardo Anything that is designed to do more than one thing can't do any of them well. As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West Bigamy : one husband too many. Monogamy : same thing. Budget: A method for going broke methodically. Bugs are Sons of Glitches! Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Choose heaven for climate, hell for society. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18. - Albert Einstein Confusion not only reigns, it pours. Constant change is here to stay. Dain bramaged. Demons are a Ghouls best Friend. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. Do steam rollers really roll steam? Do witches run spell checkers? Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you. Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system. ___ Dyslexics of the world, untie! Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it? Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Every morning is the dawn of a new error. Every time I've built character, I've regretted it. Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid. Everyone is entitled to my opinion. Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner. Exceptions always outnumber rules. Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - Olivier Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. Floggings will continue until morale improves. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! Friends come and go, enemies accumulate. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Friendship is one soul in two bodies. _____ Give me ambiguity or give me something else. Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks. Grow your own dope... plant a man. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!! Gun control is being able to hit your target! He who hesitates is probably right.

Application For Employment Prospective employees shall be afforded equal opportunity. However making a slight donation of $50.00 to the receptionist will improve the chances of your completed application making it to the H.R. Dept. All information that you release in this application will probably be viewed by the receptionist, her boyfriend, the cleaning lady, our telephone repairman, the pizza delivery boy, and potentially anyone who walks by the desk your application is laying on. 1. Position Applied For: ___ Eye Candy ___ Tattletale ___ Sucker ___ Head Cheese 2. Are you a Brown-Noser? ___ Yes ___ No 3. Can you pass a lie detector test? ___Yes ___ No ( If you answered 2 out of 3 questions with a yes please proceed to fill out the rest of the application. If you answered no to any of the above questions we are sorry to inform you that the position has already been filled. Please toss this application in the trash on your way out of the building ). Last Name: _____________________ Middle Initial: ____ First Name: _____________________ Social Security No. ____________________ Credit Card No. ____________________ Exp. ______ Bank Name: __________________________ Acct. No. ___________________________________ Mailing Address: ____________________________________________________________________ (Must be the same as your billing address for credit card). Have you ever been admitted to a mental institution? ____ Yes ___ No If yes, why did you want to leave there and apply for work here? _______________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________ Have you ever been convicted of a felony? ____ Yes ___ No ( If yes, what the hell are you still doing filling out this application? See above question no. 3 ) Are you married? ___ Yes ___ No Date of birth: ___________________________ Favorite Drink: _________________________ Horoscope Sign: ________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________ Email Address: ________________________ Do you own your home? ___ Yes ___ No Favorite Bar: ___________________________ Favorite Color: _________________________ Car Make/Color: ________________________ Cell Phone: ____________________________ Chat Handle: _________________________ Please list any emotional hang-ups that you have in the space below and include a list of meds that you take for this: ____________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________ I hereby attest and verify that the information I have provided in this application is absolutely false and misrepresented. I understand that any honest or true answers could lead to me spending the rest of my life alone. Signature:______________________________ Date:_________________________

Reality Dating Application Warning: If you complete this form it could be used against you in future arguments, at poker games, if you decide to run for office, and if worse comes to worse you’ll find it posted on the world wide web for all your friends, family, and co-workers to see. First Name:________________________________ Last Name:_____________________________ Address:__________________________________ Phone Number:_________________________ Age:_____ (please attach copy of birth certificate to application) Weight:_____ Height:_____ (not what you put on your driver’s license) 1). How many times a week do you bathe/shower? ___ None (afraid of being sucked down the drain) ___ 1-3 (when flies mistake me for a pile of shit) ___ 4-6 (high hopes of getting intimate with someone) ___ 7 or more (have every brand of shower gel on the market and not enough days in a week to try them all) 2). Do you leave brown stripes in your underwear? ___ Yes, I believe in conserving toilet paper. ___ No, I don’t wear underwear. 3). How often do you wash your bedding? ___ Daily (must be a nympho) ___ Once a week (at the carwash) ___ Yearly (when I get my tax refund) ___ Never (haven’t brought a date home in years) 4). What are your shopping habits? ___ I prefer shopping at garage sales. (leaves more money to buy my booze with) ___ I prefer shopping at discount stores. (can buy ten times more junk food for less) ___ I prefer shopping at the mall. (great place to check out cute butts) ___ I prefer to shop at all the finer stores (until all the credit cards are maxed out) ___ I don’t pay for anything, I just take it. 5). You are sitting in your recliner watching television and sneeze a juicy one, what do you do? ___ Wipe my nose on my sleeve then give someone a great big hug. ___ Wipe my nose with the remote. ___ Yell for someone to bring me a tissue, then hide/stuff it down the chair when I’m done with it. 6). You are cuddling with your sweetheart in bed and feel gas pressure building, what do you do? ___ Excuse myself and make a mad dash to the bathroom. ___ Let it blow and brag about how I made the windows shake. ___ Blast the stink bomb then toss the covers over both our heads so we can enjoy the juicy aroma. ___ Let it leak out silently and blame it on the dog. 7). The toilet breaks and needs repaired, what do you do? ___ Get the duct tape out and fix it myself. ___ Wait and see if it will miraculously fix itself. ___ Hire someone to fix it. ___ Choose to do nothing and use the gas station’s restroom for the rest of the year. 8.) How do you feel about washing dishes? ___ Love playing in bubbles and beg for people to dirty more dishes. ___ Only when company is coming. ___ Out of the question, I might break a nail. ___ I’m allergic to dish soap. ___ I consider dirty dishes to be a work of art and stack them all over the house/apt. as decorations. 9). How do you feel about mowing the lawn and misc. yard work? ___ Can’t wait to get the rider out so I can chase the neighbor’s cat around the yard. ___ Hire a lawn care company. ___ Just set it on fire once a year. ___ Do nothing at all, I enjoy living in a jungle. 10). Your dog accidentally takes a dump inside, what do you do? ___ Wait a couple days, wrap it up and toss it into the lost & found box at work. ___ Call my mom and have her come clean it up. ___ Ignore it and hope it will go away. ___ Call 911 and tell them I have an emergency. 11). Which best describes your cooking? ___ I must be an excellent cook because everyone I know eats at my house. ___ I burn everything and the dog refuses to eat it. ___ I have all the delivery places on speed dial. ___ I don’t cook, I have my own personal chef. 12). You are driving down the highway and notice your ex’s car pulled over with a flat tire, what do you do? ___ Pull over and grab my old cd player out of the car while they are changing the flat. ___ Drive by and act like I don’t see them. ___ Blow the horn and yell out the window “It sucks to be you”. I hereby attest and verify that the information I have provided in this application is absolutely false and misrepresented. I understand that any honest or true answers could lead to me spending the rest of my life alone. Signature:______________________________ Date:_________________________

have to tell you... I skim through or read every ones bulletins, but I don't always reply or redo the survey things, because some I have already done and sometimes I don't get the time. So it is not that I ignore you, I just don't feel some are important enough to repeat. A lot of you on my friend's list don't even bother to read my bulletins, so this is what I'm going to do... When I see that one of you re-posted this, I will give you a picture comment. So, if you're a good fUER friend, re-post this as Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well i am usually online but not always on furber,myspace,live journal,yahoo 360 there are more but any who if you like to talk to me my messanger is spookysg@aim.com it is usually always up . so lets chat and start spreading the love people kisses and hugs ,i hope all is well and in good spirits and full of love and joy .my friends i may not be hangout w/you all yet but there will be a day i will come back that is those who still want my company i had to do a lot of shorting out and i found that if people are really friends they will understand and are willing to wait but i will still chat w/you on messanger or i will return your messages as i get them .I dn't call anyone anymore is that my home phone is know more my computer and roomies computers are hooked up now and so only way to contact me is by e-mail messages on websites or ims i will do my best to get back to you guys i am sorry i don't want you to feel i have turned away i haven't just dealing with my own personal demons and i want tio have a clear head before i bring you guys back into my life those who are willing to wait i love you all and hope the best for each and every one of you .Now i know some of you like to say mean thing and all i can say is go a head you can't hurt me any more .people have as much power as you let them over you an i am getting more clear about thinking of my down falls and i am not tring to make those mistakes i made about the wrong choises i made and the not following my belifes i screwed up big time people and yes i wronged some of you and a sorry i know just don't cut it but if you forgive me and strat a freash and new friendships i think we can be .so think it over and what ever you decide i admit i did some pretty bad things and i do feel terrible but if people are willing to work w/me then i can't do anything to fix nothing and if it is the case were you feel that are friend ship can't be saved please know i will always care even when you think i am full of it well lots of love and hugs all around i just had to get this off my chest i am not mad or pissed however i just need to let you know how i feel .