After a Night in Jail, ‘00
wrists bruised from cuffs
head twisting
turning
falling on its ass
I keep fucking myself over
Newport Light 100 between my lips
(how many is that today?)
I wanna get high but I’m scared to
London Calling on the stereo
Light curled up at my feet
his fur brushing against the arch of my foot
his warm little body such a comfort
yet again I am slowly
fiercely
hungrily violently angrily
losing my shit
I do so much to put it back together
and it all falls apart again
the damage is never truly repaired
only momentarily mended
I ache all over
and I love holding cells
fluorescent lights
the stench of old urine rising up and burning my nose
stinging my eyes
I love having to crouch over the chemical toilet to pee
so no skin will come in contact
with that nasty metal surface
I feel ravaged all the time
ripped
raped
robbed
wronged
rendered so completely
helpless
hopeless
all I know to do is to try and take care of number one
and constantly grow
take lessons from every experience
so not to make the same mistakes
again and again and again
all I can do is live and learn
and most of all
love
