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My Life, Today

My Life, Today The warmth of a touch, a kiss, a look, the feeling of you inside me, the sun’s caress, the physical jolt of music. Overwhelming beauty: words, lyrics, sentences, irony. The day opening and closing. Everything I know new, intriguing, clean, even when it’s exactly the same as it always is. We listen to The Velvet Underground – Lou Reed, John Cale, Nico, others whose names I can’t remember. I’m always thrilled by sight sound touch, your searching hands on my smooth skin, but no longer is everything weighted by desperate panic, melancholy, nostalgia, moments long since past – things I can no longer have or change. But right here, right now, it is enough, almost way too much at times, and I am in love with it.

Man of My Dreams

Man of My Dreams *I found him - Echis) I sit here weary and waning, afraid of all I’m not gaining, waiting to be swept off my feet, to be taken on that once-upon-a-time forever-neverland trick-or-treat. Give me Hell’s Night, a bottle of cheap wine, some hash, and a good fight, but promise not to leave my side, because it’s you who lets me come out from inside and stop the hiding inside. It’s sunny and sweet anywhere we meet, a treat, a magical feat, a sensuous affair. Oh boy, it’ll take us somewhere. And “over the rainbow” and all that jazz, too. God, I want someone just like you – someone who’ll tame my wild beast, deal with my torturous heat, keep me from defeat, keep me from beating up every bitch in sight, give me perpetual twilight, tickle me where no one can see, be everything and everyone to me.

Drinking A Beer

Drinking a Beer I place one sandaled foot in front of the other, my platform heels echoing on hardwood floors. I enter the kitchen. The floor – sticky; dirty dish pile sink; counters and table littered with overflowing ashtrays and empty beer bottles. I open the fridge, scan the contents, quickly lock on my target. My hand enters the open twelve-pack, grips cold, damp glass, a sweating label. I retrieve a Bass. Using my incisors, I pry the metal cap off the brown glass bottle, then turn on my heel and head to the smoky, debris-filled den where friends and acquaintances are in varying stages of inebriation. I lift the bottle to my mouth, put my lips to the cold glass, tilt back my head, gulp down pale ale like water, like life bottled, swallow greedily, wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, burp and giggle, then lift the bottle again, sipping this time. I finally savor the robust flavor. Then I chug again, and the bottle becomes half-empty. I taste warmth, laughter, sex, a loosening of the coil. Later, I may taste anger, attitude, and adrenaline, fighting, drama, but for now, the taste is just right.

What I Am

What I Am I will never be an ice queen. I encourage chaos. I live for right here, right now, and something more than. I want to bathe in fire and skinny dip in the ocean in the middle of the night under a full moon, skin pale and gleaming under the harsh white rays. I want to be everything, everywhere, tasting and touching all, always burning with desire, always being stimulated. I like to jump up and down on hardwood floors in my big black clodhopper platforms, Beastie Boys screaming “No Sleep ‘Till …” until the cops come. I am in love with discovery and awakening. I live to be: raw, fierce, hare, fast, pounding, nasty, sick, twisted; breathing fire and swallowing swords, looking for pure visceral experience – pleasure, pain, art, history, drama, sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, good beer, good bars, good food, party people in da house, laughing, loving, fucking, talking, shocking, trashing shit, going forever wild crazy free.
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