SweetDreams's blog: "about me"

If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine... Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

These Clever Women Close your eyes, my love, let me make you blind! They have taught you to see Only problems writ on the face of things, And algebra in the eyes of desirous men, And God like geometry Tangling his circles to baffle you and me. I would kiss you over those eyes till I kissed you blind; If I could--if anyone could! Then perhaps in the dark you'd get what you want to find: The solution that ever is much too deep for the imnd; Dissolved in blood..... That I am the heart, and you are the gentle hind. Now stop carping at me! Do you want me to hate you? Am I a kaleidoscope For you to shake and shake, and it won't come right? Am I doomed in a long condition of words to mate you? Unsatisfied! Is there no hope Between your thighs, far, far from your peering sight? D.H. Lawrence

I am so tired of being taken for granted.. sick of having my heart stomped on when i open it up.. They say when it rains it pours.. well no kidding. I put walls up and then get yelled at when i cant take them down.. Why cant anyone ever be patient and understanding for ME! I do it for those around me.. Is it too much to ask to have someone just understand that i am a sensitive person.. no matter how hard i act.. or try to be.. i cry.. and i cry rather easily. It doesnt take much to hurt me at all.. but it seems everyone already knows that .. and just uses it against me. So for the record, i lost my best friend, my boyfriend, and my ex has blown up on me twice this week.. Ive had to cancel my trip which was my only escape from this madhouse i seem to live in, and i am going to be miserable and lonely in Texas for the rest of my life.. wow.. im on a fucking roll!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? not that i know of 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? yesterda 3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yes. its unique 4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? smoked turkey 5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 3.. 2boys and a girl 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? hell yes I'm a blast 7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A Lot? YES *just a lilbit* 8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes 9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? maybe 10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? cocao pebbles 11. DO YOU UNTIE YOU R SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?Hell no.. who does that? 12. DO YOU Think you 're strong? yes 13. What is your favorite ice cream? mint chocochip 14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? eyes 15. RED OR PINK? Pink baby! 16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my tummy 17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Dean 18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? sure why the hell not 19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? blue jean shorts and a read and black tank with sparkles 20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ? eggs and turkey sausage. 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Joss Stone 22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? PINK!!! 23. FAVORITE SMELLS? clean fresh smells citrus 24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my boyfriend 25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness... For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone... People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. By Miss Audrey Hepburn

I've let something consume me for so long that I forgot who I was. I thought the attention was wanted, that I was wanted. How do you say you love someone and not see them in your future? I feel so very lost, and have no one to turn to for answers. No one to show me the way back to myself. And yes, even though I am a strong independent woman, I need to be guided. To be lead, to be corrected gently, to be taught, and loved, and wanted. To be able to submit freely, and to be appreciated for it. I know how this will be taken, if it is ever read by the person it is intended for. I know how He will view this. Lack of finding fault in Himself, because He feels He forewarned me. FUCK FOREWARNING! Live for today, be happy with what you have.. bullshit. I want more.. ok.. I said it. I want the fairytale ending. I want to be able to say I am so truly loved, that when people hear my voice they know its true. I want happily ever after.. I've allowed You to consume my thoughts, and made you a priority in my life.. I've overwhelmed myself, my head, and my heart with the "what if's". I feel I have gone beyond and above the norm, to make this work. The problem is, I'm the only one that seems to give a flying fuck on whether or not it works. I'm hurt, my pride is hurt, my head throbs, my heart aches, and you laugh and say.. " Told ya so". How did I get so consumed by You? I don't see my life without You in it.. but I am no where in Yours.. How can a person love someone so completely that it effects their whole being, and the other is only slightly amused at the entire ordeal? I know You love me.. in some form. I know You say You are "in love" with me... again, it's in some form. What it isn't however, is forever.

Have you ever felt like you were wasting your time, your life, your heart? Have you ever woke up and wondered why? Have you ever been given a gift and had it snatched away before you could truly enjoy it? Have you ever seen your future, and watch it disappear into nothing but cold blackness? Have you ever been greatful for a moment in time? Have you ever had your heart ache to the point you thought it might shatter? Have you ever cried so much you thought you could drown in your own tears? Have you ever had a dream that you couldn't remember? Have you ever loved someone so hard, that it pushed them away? Have you ever allowed yourself to be pushed away from love? Have you ever been told to smile for what you had? Have you ever been able to? Have you ever looked inside yourself? Have you ever seen your soul? Have you ever known true love? Have you?