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SweetDreams's blog: "about me"

created on 01/28/2008  |  http://fubar.com/about-me/b182668

All His

Just a little over 2 years ago. I was fortunate enough to meet a man online who would come to mean more to me than I ever imagined. Through small conversations and chat room visiting, we became great friends. I cherished His thoughts and ideas, His insane way of talking in circles, and most of all.. His "grinz". He left the country for work, and we chatted daily for hours. Talking about anything and everything. Each day we became that much closer, until realization set in, I had fallen in love with Him. I remember the day I told Him, He didn't say it back. I could hear the smile in His voice when He told me to " be happy with the fact that I could love Him". I recall thinking "what the hell?". I see now. All too clearly do I see now. I remember His having to rush home to the states a little early for a family emergency, and how I was so worried for Him. The joy I felt when He contacted me after an absence from my daily life. I look back and recall each moment of life that we were given to share, every phone call, every chat, every text. We fought like cats and dogs, and loved like there was no other. Because there isn't. No one will ever have my heart the way this man does. No one will ever know me the way He has come to know me. Because through my ups, and downs, through my neurotic crazy ideas, and my insane way of loving. He has sat back and smiled. Oh, we have fought, don't think it's all been rainbows and roses. Far from it. We have both shed tears, Thanksgiving 2006, we sat up on the phone all night crying over how it could never work. I will never forget the pain in His voice, or the tears i fought back the remainder of the day.... and days after. I remember the first time He ever told me He loved me.. I remember how it made my heart swell, and my eyes water. Our real time together was just as intense. Thinking back on how He smiled at the sight of me. How i couldn't seem to get close enough to Him, to the point I could have crawled into His skin and it wouldn't have been close enough still. I still feel His hands on my face at times, and His lips upon mine. I ache for His touch late at night, and dream of Him looking down into my eyes and telling me that He was in love with me. I am happy for those moments, because they are the now. I am happy for each and every moment, because it was ours. I ache for Him every second of my day, every day that I breathe. I am happy for that ache. Even though there are days that I don't seem quite myself, and I become cynical and questioning as to what our future holds. One thing holds true my love, I have always and will continue to listen to Your gentle words of guidance and teaching, for as long as You say them to me. I will hold on to each loving memory for as long as You give me memories to hold. And I will love You until my last breath, as long as You continue to make my breath shake with Your touch. One thing will remain true. No matter where You go or what You do, I will always be Your girl, and You will always be able to say, that You were truly and completely loved.

Un-beautiful

We are the 'Un-Beautiful Girls' We are the girls you may not give a second glance. We know you may look once, then pass us over, for we are too tall, too short, too plain, too fat, too thin, too old, too young, too blemished, too freckled, or just "too anything". We are the girls whose bodies don't stop traffic, whose wardrobes are not designer, and whose faces will never launch a fleet of ships. We are the girls whose eyes crinkle when we smile, and whose faces line when we laugh, for we've done so much of both through our lives that our faces have been changed forever. We proudly bear the scars and stretch marks we have gained over the years as badges of honor, and evidence of a life fully lived. We polish our skin, brighten our smiles, and nourish our hair with loving attention, because we know our own worth. We glow from within when we dance, because we love the way our bodies feel when they move with the rhythm. We are the girls who know what beauty truly is, and we revel in our own. We are the girls who have always had to try just a little harder, and take unending joy in the rewards. We know the immeasurable value of trust, of honesty, of devotion, of loyalty, of tenderness, and of nurturing. We love with everything we have. We give our hearts, our bodies, and our souls, without reservation, to the ones who have taken the time to know who we are, for when they know us, they will be unable to resist us. We are the girls who are the most richly rewarded by an honest smile, a loving touch, and a simple, heartfelt "Thank you". And we will give them all in return, without end. We are the girls who can truly please your eyes and hearts, delight all your senses, refresh your tired spirits, and strengthen your souls. We complete you. We are the "Un-Beautiful Girls." And only the luckiest few will know our love. Author Unknown _______________________________________________________________________________ A Man's Reply. if a woman with a little imperfection, a little signs of having lived, rather than being put away on a shelf like a china doll is not beautiful, then I do not love beautiful women. I suppose I am strange in that I prefer a woman who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty, who has those little lines around her eyes when she smiles, and perhaps she is a shade tall, or a little plump, may have a lot of freckles, or even, gods forbid, puffy ankles or the start of worry lines. Gucchi bags and designer clothing doesn't impress me, a woman who's confident enough to wear a teeshirt and jeans does. As for beauty, nothing is more beautiful than seeing a woman, her hair a little rumpled, without makeup, first thing in the morning, wearing the shirt you wore home from work last night, because it smells like you. A man with a spirit wants a woman with a spirit, not a hollow china doll shell. The woman who loves completely, even if she's been hurt, who is willing to take those leaps and love you. Never let that pass, gents. Ever. A woman whose tenderness shines from her like the sun, who can soothe wounds with a touch and remind you what it's like to live when she kisses you....those are the truly beautiful women, not the empty soulless shells, who perfectly perscribe the society's *cover girl* image though butchering their bodies and starving themselves. If these tender, loving, wonderful women are rejected by society, for being a little imperfect, a little less than their harshly concived beauty, then I will love them, for each one, to me, is beautiful. It is hard to love a cold marble statue, and while *perfect*, that is what those other women are. Cold and distant in their *perfection* and without heart or feeling. I do not wish to love perfection, for I would always feel inadequate, always feel that I must be perfect myself, or else why should she want me? I much prefer a woman, who loves me as I am, and that I improve for because it makes her proud of me, and because it makes her feel wonderful that I would do so, not just for her, but for myself. These women are nurturing and shining, loving and tender, who will be wonderful mothers someday, because they understand love, the understand mistakes, and they understand that life can be rough, and when you need someone to love you, their face and form are not as important as the heart that beats within their breast. anonymous

Why me....

Why do I like things from both ends of the scale. I want to be this totally sexual being and I want to be denied.I want to have friends and be social and I want be cut off. I want to be treated like a princess and I want to be treated like nothing.I want to dress sexy and I want to be veiled and covered. I want humiliation and I want tenderness and understanding. I want to receive soft kisses and a romantic night and I want to be raped, beaten and used. I want to be pampered,and loved, and I want to be tormented and tortured.....

I will not~

Written by my dear friend Domme Maggie a R/L Mistress and my mentor in the lifestyle of BDSM. Darlin' slaves, As I often discuss rules and protocol.. I felt you might appreciate the following. (tongue in cheek) Memorize them! -chuckle- i will not carve the flogger handles i will not spank others i will not aim for Mistress's head i will not yell safeword in the grocery store i will not sell the names on Her newsgroup list to the National Enquirer or Sun i will not read and giggle at Mistress's logs from the Dominant Forum i will not yell fire every time Mistress lights a candle funny noises are not funny i will not snap Mistress's bra Punishment is not boring or pointless i will not call Mistress, Dr. Death i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Mistress's D/s party i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe-Dom hunting i will not bring sheep to the subbie forum a burp is not an appropriate response to Mistress i will not eat all Mistress's m & m's while she is at work i will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum Mistress's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet i will not call Mistress, spud head, butt head or any kind of head, Mistress IS perfect mud is not an acceptable side dish for Mistress's dinner i will NOT walk around wearing Mistress's bra cup on my head, pretending it is a Yamaka. i will not peek out of the blindfold there is no such thing as "slave immunity" i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permission i did not win an emmy for my last session i will not hide all Mistress's toys all play and no work does not a good slave make i will not say "oh Mistress you're the bestest and brightest" just to get a spanking i can not fire Mistress my last assignment was not stolen by one armed internet hackers i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips i will refrain from saying "hail satan" when i don't like Mistres's orders i will not remind Mistress daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr anniversary i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all the clamps i will not use Mistress's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool i will not wear Mistress's underwear on my head Mistress's dog does not stink i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand ....and last but not least i will not use the pages from Mistress's Dominant Handbook to start the grill...

No One

"No One" I just want you close Where you can stay forever You can be sure That it will only get better You and me together Through the days and nights I don't worry 'cause Everything's going to be alright People keep talking they can say what they like But all i know is everything's going to be alright No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you Can get in the way of what I feel for you When the rain is pouring down And my heart is hurting You will always be around This I know for certain You and me together Through the days and nights I don't worry 'cause Everything's going to be alright People keep talking they can say what they like But all i know is everything's going to be alright No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you Can get in the way of what I feel I know some people search the world To find something like what we have I know people will try try to divide something so real So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you Can get in the way of what I feel for you

addicted

"Addicted" It's like you're a drug It's like you're a demon I can't face down It's like I'm stuck It's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the power It's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like you're a leech Sucking the life from me It's like I can't breathe Without you inside of me And I know I let you have all the power And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm lost It's like I'm giving up slowly It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me Leave me alone And I know these voices in my head Are mine alone And I know I'll never change my ways If I don't give you up now It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me

TO the REAL Masters

I read this somewhere, author is unknown but I liked it. She is your charge, your partner, your slave. You are her life, her love, her leader.She will be faithful and true to the last beat of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion.

What He's Done For Me

What He's Done For Me by Jewel For so long I've been lonely Drowning in my tears, No one there to listen Or help me face my deepest fears. No one there to shelter me From this world so full of pain, No one showed me rainbows Every time I saw the rain. No one there to give a damn About my broken heart, No one to pick up the pieces Every time I fell apart. But, finally someone came along And took the time to know, All the hurt and pain That I tried hard not to show. He took the time to realize How much I've had to pay, For every time I gave of me There was something taken away. He took the time to look inside This heart as cold as stone, He found that there was something there No one else has ever known. He found what I'd been hiding there Brought it out to show the world, That there was so much love inside Of such a lonely girl. He knew what I was feeling So he set my mind at ease, Then he did the impossible - He gave my soul to me. So, now I'm going to take this time To say "Thanks" for all he's done, And hope he knows I love him more Then life or anyone.

someone

Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Some of their houses will be bigger. Some will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the house. So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it! The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~~~ might be lonely. And the word says, 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.' So, again, love you. Love who you are. Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say, 'I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed, to be Disappointed!' 'Winners make things happen~~ Losers let things happen.' Be 'Blessed' Ladies~~~~~ and pass this on to encourage another woman. 'To the world you might be one person, but to the one person, you might be the world.'

subs........

A friend of mine wrote this, it just seems to be the words I have never been able to find. Dark and evil are not conducive to trust and honesty. A sadist by his very nature has within him a dark and evil thing. Be sure the sadist you seek recognizes this within himself and has learned to control it. This lust can become a Dom's master to the sorrow of all, or it can become a strength when tempered with compassion, honesty and will. The laws of good and evil are written within our hearts. As a sadist I can see the laws but my desire burns hot within me. Am I to walk the earth for the rest of my days as a starving man when the only food I could eat will damn my soul? What will be my way? How can I feed the beast within yet save the man without? The answer is Choice. Were I to kidnap a girl, take my pleasure and leave her in ruins, I will have fed the beast but I will also have killed the man. Should I practice my evil upon someone like you, with your submission freely given, the limits clearly stated and agreed upon, and knowing that it is in fact something that you crave. I have fed the beast and at the same time I've also saved the man that I am. Subs get all the hype; subspace, beauty, submission, protection, service and all the things that make being a sub so good for subs. The one thing they rarely get is thanks. They often thank the Dom's in one way or another...some more pleasurable than others. But in and of themselves the sub is rarely given the true thanks for something that she may not realize that she has done. In being who you are, in choosing to endure what you endure, in taking pleasure in what others find abhorrent. It is you who has in fact saved the man and as a consequence saved the world from a beast. -PainKing
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