lovelylivs a KO Girl's blog: "a reflection of myself ..."

a few of you have recently discovered that you can no longer access my nsfw pics. while I had no problem sharing these with you since I am not in the least bit shy, I recently discovered that many of the people that used to talk to me daily have decided that Im no longer good enough to talk to since I announced that I have a bf, however they still liked to come to my page every day n use my pics as jack off material and since I've apparently become useless to talk to not because of anything Ive said or changed but for the simple fact that I have a bf I no longer wish to be your get off girl. thanks to those who've wished me well and have been supportive in the change in my relationship status. what I find funny is that I have been nice and friendly and open to chat with anyone regardless of anything..guess u find out who your friends are right? I will be giving access to my pics to people who seem to be genuine and not just out to get off...though if thats what you use them for thats fine, just know that you must have some real friendship qualities as well.to those who are complaining that its not fair that I can see their nsfw's but they cant see mine..seriously guys have you noticed that I rated thm just like your other pics and not gone back to look at them again? I enjoy pictures but nsfw's dont really do anything for me unless I have an attachment to that person..Im backwards that way..so if youre worried I may look when you cant..well deny me access I promise I wont lose any sleep...so thats that. I will be adding people to my fam as I see fit as a ty for your friendship. so first off thanks to my daddy for not bein the jealous type and for bein you in general..you of course get first add(not to mention your own personal pics lol) and the first group of friends I will be adding no matter if u choose to look or not include people who are my friends in real life n have been there for me beyond fubar some of which are only here cause I invited them..such as...dustin..you've seen everything anyway lol..manny..we go way back to like middle school lol..brett you been a friend for yrs n you take care of my baby roscoe lol..supersponge lol aka brian..youre a good friend even after a crazy guy tried to kill you for stayin the night with me( sorry again about that)..kev my jamaican teddy..always worried about me checkin in on me..youre one of the sweetest guys Ive ever met..kevin cause you've decided to be a man and roll with the punches n stay my friend knowing that we're not going to date..jake ummm just cause youve been nice n always there in case I wanna chat..my superman cause we have had some good convo's n real recognizes real n keno cause you dont care bf or no bf you still talk to me n treat me the same..thanks for that. ..like i said before I will be adding to the list if and when I see fit please dont bug me about it. I wont be adding any women unless you ask to be added..Im bi but Im not gonna bother with adding you if its not something you wanna see. best of wishes to everyone..kisses

They Went Home They went home and told their wives, that never once in all their lives, had they known a girl like me, But... They went home. They said my house was licking clean, no word I spoke was ever mean, I had an air of mystery, But... They went home. My praises were on all men's lips, they liked my smile, my wit, my hips, they'd spend one night, or two or three. But... Maya Angelou

this poem speaks so much truth about the way people live their lives today Weekend Glory Some clichty folks don't know the facts, posin' and preenin' and puttin' on acts, stretchin' their backs. They move into condos up over the ranks, pawn their souls to the local banks. Buying big cars they can't afford, ridin' around town actin' bored. If they want to learn how to live life right they ought to study me on Saturday night. My job at the plant ain't the biggest bet, but I pay my bills and stay out of debt. I get my hair done for my own self's sake, so I don't have to pick and I don't have to rake. Take the church money out and head cross town to my friend girl's house where we plan our round. We meet our men and go to a joint where the music is blue and to the point. Folks write about me. They just can't see how I work all week at the factory. Then get spruced up and laugh and dance And turn away from worry with sassy glance. They accuse me of livin' from day to day, but who are they kiddin'? So are they. My life ain't heaven but it sure ain't hell. I'm not on top but I call it swell if I'm able to work and get paid right and have the luck to be Black on a Saturday night. Maya Angelou

--- if you've ever loved you will find this poem to be pretty accurate Touched by an Angel We, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight live coiled in shells of loneliness until love leaves its high holy temple and comes into our sight to liberate us into life. Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies old memories of pleasure ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls. We are weaned from our timidity In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou

-for those of you who didnt already know...I have a profound love for poetry..tyhe following is one of my all time favorites by a woman who I find truly inspiring... Phenomenal Woman Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Maya Angelou

My greatest memory by Hope Today was the best day of my life I found a road back to remind me of you The world keeps turning over, Wish I could have you closer, Of every moment lived so far, This is my greatest memory, You by my side, I can picture you here with me, and if I tried, this cant be a crime, at least I can hold you in my mind. Looking out my hotel window, I see cars racing by, everybody's going somewhere, wish you'd appear tonight someone sent me an angel, I saw him in the light twelve days lost to dreaming, before you came to light this is my greatest memory, you by my side, I can picture you here with me, and if I tried, this cant be a crime, at least I can hold you in my mind. the world keeps turning over, wish I could have you closer, of every moment lived so far, this is my greatest memory, now your standing here with me, this is my greatest memory, you by my side, this cant be a crime, these are the best days of my life.

Who Am I To Say by Hope Love of my life, my soulmate You're my best friend Part of me like breathing Now half of me is left I don't know anything at all Who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you need me Color me blue I'm lost in you Don't know why I'm still waiting Many moons have come and gone Don't know why I'm still searching Don't know anything at all And who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you need me Now you're a song I love to sing Never thought it feels so free Now I know what's meant to be And that's okay with me But who am I to say you love me And who am I to say you need me And who am I to say you love me Mmmm hmmm I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all And who am I to say you need me I don't know anything at all I don't know anything at all I don't know anything at all I don't know anything at all

OK, so recently, I've been re reading the book Easy by Emma Gold. A few days ago I stumbled across a part that I had forgotten about previously and was shocked to see myself in the book..well not me literally but a part that I saw myself in so I figured Id share it with whoever wants to read it. "I had met the love of my life when I was younger. Meeting the love of my life was so easy that I had assumed that when we were no longer that I could just go out and find another one. As we know,it has not been quite that straightforward. I am beginning to doubt whether I will ever find that kind of magic again. Perhaps I am lucky to have found such a special love once in my life and I should be grateful for that;I am sure many people never experience it at all.But I just feel that now I know what it is like to feel the intensity of true love and passion, I just cant settle for second best.Then I ask myself whether everyone who is not him will be second best. Is it true that you only have one true love in your life?In which case should I just give up now? Of course, I was a different person when I met him, a little more innocent, trusting, open and vibrant.Although I already had emotional baggage, it was more of a handy travel case as opposed to crates of pain and paranoia now lodged in cold storage. I reckon the reason I have accumulated so much baggage is that I do not deal with pain as it arises. Instead, you may have noticed,I put on a brave face,convince myself that the man in question is too screwed up,too old, too hairy and/or his cock is the wrong size and the sex is bad and I am better off without him.But the truth of it is that I don't think I can handle the pain.I don't think I will survive it.Perhaps I will fall into the depths of a dark depression never to return as a fully functioning individual.Or maybe, in my darkest moments, I believe that I will literally not survive- I wont be able to carry on and suicide will seem the only sensible answer to a life filled with disappointment and rejection. I remember when I was younger and was first hurt by a man. I ran up to my bedroom and weighed up the options. I could either a) collapse with disappointment,cry and confront the fact that I yearned for an arrogant asshole or b) not let that arrogant asshole be responsible for one precious tear and remove all trace of him completely from my mind. I remember consciously deciding to take route b.And I have taken route b ever since.In retrospect, what with the recurrent dreams of rejection, it may not have been the most sensible thing to give up on someone who I loved with my whole heart and soul."