Argument (ar*gyou*ment):n. | A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. | |
Airhead (er*head): n. | What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a Police Officer. | |
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q): n. | You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up - but he "made the dinner." | |
Blonde jokes (blond joks):n. | Jokes that are short so men can understand them. | |
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope):n. | Gotta' get married in a church. | |
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer):n. | An appliance designed to eat socks. | |
Diet soda (dy*it so*da):n. | A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. | |
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee):n. | The last two minutes of a football game. | |
Exercise (ex*er*siz): v. | To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. | |
Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list): n | What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. | |
Hair dresser (hare dres*er): n. | Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician." | |
Hardware store (hard*war stor): n. | Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. | |
Childbirth (child*brth): n. | You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "focus....breathe...push..." | |
Lipstick (lip*stik): n. | On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! | |
Park (park): v./n. | Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. | |
Patience (pa*shens): n. | The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers." | |
Waterproof mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n. | Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. | |
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae): n. | A day when you have dreams of a candle light dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card |