shadow's blog: "a day in my life"

well, for all three people out there who i actually talk to on here from my hometown, i m off to college in minot on monday. surprisingly, i think for all the boring shit fargo has to do, i m gonna miss it. well, see ya in 4 years, and for god sakes, someone can take a road trip up ta see me. peace out fargo

tommy the cat by primus on bass. can it even be done. shit ive spent like 3 weeks workin on it. anyways yeah, happy feet sucked. dont go to it. so im bored of my ass, someone call or some shit. if you want my number, ask PEACE!!

Does anyone ever question where life is taking you? Something most people dont know is my biggest fear is not being in control of my enviornment or situation. But when you really look at life, do you have any control at all? Im not a strong believer in God, and i really dont believe in fate. It just seems that no matter what i want to say, my body acts on its own accord. I dont know, maybe im just stoned o_o. lol anyways peace

Life it seems, will fade away Drifting further every day Getting lost within myself Nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free Things are not what they used to be Missing one inside of me Deathly lost, this cant be real Cannot stand this hell I feel Emptiness is filling me To the point of agony Growing darkness taking dawn I was me, but now hes gone No one but me can save myself, but its too late Now I cant think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

its fuckin cold. goddamn it. i went and helped move some shit today, and ended up standin outside in the fuckin -10 weather for like 3 hours. then my uncle locks my smokes into the house saying i didnt need them. you ever wanted to fuckin murder somebody? sigh that was my last pack of smokes and im out of whiskey.

headache. so this is what a hangover feels like :p wtf is a zombie anyways, some strong shit thats for sure.

how can life be so confusing? it feels like the worlds spinning around me so fast that i just get dizzy and wander lost until there is nothing but darkness and i cant see the light. not knowing whats around the next corner, where every course of action leads to the same result, just darkness. i dont know what i should do, but i definatly know what i shouldnt do, and for now, that will have to be enough.

fuckin awsome man. i finally got a day off, so i can jus sit around and do nothin. hell yeah.

you know, i just dont find life fulfilling anymore. i find myself worrying about the little things too much, and not having much fun. something needs to change, but i dont know what. some things are just kinda fucked up. i sit here day after day, doing nothing with my life cept drinking or smokin. it may not seem like it, but i do want to be somebody, i do want to make a difference. its just that in this world today, i dont know if its even possible. all i know is i want more out of life then mediocre, and even if some things were to change, most never would. part of this is because i hold out for oppurtonities that never come instead of going out and grabbing them. all i do every day is put up with the same old bullshit, with a few minor details changed. i dunno, maybe im holding out for too much, maybe ill never be someone important, maybe ill always just be "one of the guys" or "just some guy i dated for awhile" or worse, "who?" i dont know, but i dont think im getting any answers anytime soon. My favorite phrase says it all, its better to burn out than fade away.