Hey all, and welcome to the sick sad confines of my restless mind. welcome to a view of the cause of my insomnia, loneliness, fear and other assortment of insecurities. the following blog and blogs consist of a poetic journal...none of it is edited... i really do think like this, it's just me talking to a blank screen most of the time, or on wednesday nights (when i'm a regular at a local bar/club) a blank page, if i can find a pen ;) some of it is complete crap and here and there there are some good word combinations. hope you enjoy reading...but mostly it's sad stuff, so don't expect to find enlightenment here :D
the following entry was written last night in my sadly unintoxicated state, and below the line were older bar writings from the past few weeks. enjoy peoples.
oh yes, and if you see initials under a poem it's because it's about someone and i want certain people to know it... it eliminates confusion and people asking me if i'm talking about them...
Image of Voluntary Servitude
settle lover
crimson tide
ache of silent disaster
murder of children
nightmare
smokescreen and chains
all nonsense
thoughts without time
no consideration to passage
Exposure
Shelter gone
helpless and cold
lost among the lost
lingering in the home of lust
an alien comfort in a cliche ostracized world
standing alone among the rejected
Regretable Gift
Sight unseen
unwanted wisdom
born of a brutal gift
unreturnable
unthinkable
crushing crashing thoughts
Lost Love
lingering in my sins
i dream of you
all that is felt
a voice and a love
familiar in human form
companion and assurance
W.G.S.
Arch Among Angels
bound and penetant
beautiful obsession
brutal disaster
dance in he sin
divided and conquored
devesated in a delierium
configured of romance and ruin
caleidoscope of misery
crimson and noir lace
ever clear in transparency
enemy of one
evolution of the masochist
FUCK
Passion's Path and Punnishment
Magick heart
and thrill of love
shifted in time to betray
hustled by fate
growing into acceptance
and murdered by empathy
prostituted to my own morals
constantly feeding the guilt with sin
twisted savior
too far to reach
too scared, too mangled to believe
how many crimes
fed this tragedy
two enormous hearts
seperated and severed.
Portrait
the killer left in a broken heart
says it's all just living
listen lover
striped in crimes
prisoner of passion and mistakes
hell bent on distraction
crystals of innosence
blended well with horror
lie beneath this believable surface
i am here, i am here
Plea
refridgerated redemption
sweet and sacrifical
richeous rituals
seduced by salvation
touch me
Aborted in Life
child of crimes
dissatisfaction bread comtempt
nothing left to simply speak
designed disaster
an angel's anger emptied into nothing
can you write it out?
this boiling
these thoughts
immortal to life
empty bullets
withehld by the angel
who protects the innocent sinners
high for the moment
low for the life
following fantasy by fantasy
any dream will do
even YOU
____________________________________________________________
HELP ME FIND THE END
bar room ramblings
Synopsis
empty heart
and empty gaze
a breed apart
born of rage
Revolution Child
light my empty heart
decide my moments
child of fault
slide the meter
to mean too much
collide with all the broken pieces
aged beyond reason
child of a new pain
Memory of my ExCorpse
catered to your willful death
let you drag me to the crypt
decaying in your empty embrace
stained black by your anti-love
given all the pieces left
to save your self broken heart
martyered against my will
nature wars with intent
J.T.C.
Transgressions
heartbeat of ink and death
spread before all
roadkill of sins
divided and conquored
and out into the night again
seek seek that place
dark and away
held in any way
away from a place called home
ripping the wings from an angel
laughing at the fall
devil beyond the Devil's means
stone her with these words of love
blackest sin you see
crucify a broken heart
and let her pay the fee
home is where the heart is
but mine's been torn away
the angels came
and called for due
the Devil had his day
Testament to the Weary Lover
bloody heart angel
in the darkness you lay
until love made me find you
that one fateful day
all memories are over
and time brought the past
the tears of my soul
are over at last
two fools in the night
both aching for love
for some form of salvation
a gift from above
in the nighttime we touched
the shyness long gone
and clung to eachother
each moment a song
we woke in the morning
and said our goodbyes
to start an old journey
to find new pain and cries
as my heart slows its beating
and comes to a stop
know that you are blameless
that fear made me pop
so as life moves and this ends
our time will be done
but for this blessing
no longer to run
the last gift i can give
i'll lay at your door
the search finally over
the pain never more
and you saw in that moment
when i chose to hide
a sin had been committed
long gone is the pride
for i begged for mercy
in that deep dark night
to be carried away
to give up the fight
and you saw right through me
the ghost in your arms
soul suicide motivated
for fear of your charms
you'll be my ending
and i your new start
to give you this blessing
until i depart
that i see your soul
and the heart that remains
and love you in honesty
regardless of pains
all i've left to give
is the truth of my sight
that love can find you
and will make it right.
N.A.L.
