Important Stuff I’ve Learned: When I die, I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather, and not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car... Cherish the good times to make them last; endure the bad times for they will pass... 75 percent of people suck at doing fractions, and the other half aren't much better... One of God’s greatest gifts to humanity is imagination, since no one will ever have a wonderful life that they did not first imagine... Forgiveness is the greatest gift; loyalty is a close second… Pain and suffering are inevitable; misery is optional... The journey is forever joined with the destination, so enjoy the trip… All wounds heal; the scars remind us not to do that again… Beer is proof that God loves us, and He wants us to be happy… Everyone seems normal till you get to know them... It’s better to have loved and lost than to spend your life with a freekin psyco… You must love what you have before you can have what you want… If it weren't for lawyers, we wouldn't need lawyers... Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die... Everyone wants to be needed, but no one wants to be used… A man's generosity is the measure and source of his wealth, not the other way round... The power of knowledge is more gratifying than the bliss of ignorance… I’d rather hear the truth than a lie, even when it sucks… If quizes are quizical, what are tests?.. Freedom requires more effort than servitude does… Marriage is a wonderful institution, if you like living in an institution… A sense of humor is mission critical... If I’m not the man of your dreams today then why do I still want me?.. I can't make you happy, but we can be happy together, if you wish... The past is carved in stone; the present is a time for the creation of our wonderful lives; the future is an open book, and it is our privilege to make it the most beautiful book ever written…