So, I have plans. I have made tons of new friends in the last two and a half months, and they all confirm (inadvertently in most cases) that I have always had goals and need to stick to them. The biggest thing is to stay single and ACT single until April 16, 2009. That's one year from the day my marriage ended. If I wanted to give myself some leeway, I could back it up to March 21-22. That's when he decided it was over...I just didn't know it yet. If I wanted to be hateful and give myself an out I could make the date one year from whenever my divorce is final. The point is, I need to be rock solid in who I am and who I want to become BEFORE I let someone else have an emotional hold on me.
And what have my new friends reminded me of? That I will get my degree. That there is an awesome school I have known about since I was a kid in Washington State of all places that is the pinnacle for me. If I don't get in, there is always plan B, but the fact that there are now multiple people I value in that area kinda gets me thinking maybe its the right thing to reach for.
They have also taught me that I deserve the world. Whether that involves finding someone to help me achieve them or not, I will see my dreams fulfilled.