So to me all guys suck.. im sryy i kno alot of you all are decent im just so sick of being used, emotionally abused, controlld, feeling worthless, feeling like i have no more controll over my life, not being able to do stuff i want, being cheated on, cant chill with my guy friends cuz i'll be accused of cheating... n so on.. im just so sick of it... i mean what am i suppose to think anymore my last three relationships ended very badly ok well not past three my last one and not the one before it but the one before taht... all in 2006 deff. not the greatest year for me...
started with first love which ended bad because his ex girlfriend came back into his life after his friend died he pushd me out i broke up with him cuz he was emotionally abusing me with tons of shit... then he threatend to have me stabbd...
after that i went out with this kid for just a lil of 3 n a half weeks... he used me and cheated on me and told no one he was with me.. that made me feel oh so not great...
then i dated a few guys... one just droppd me for another chick he didnt even get with...
then after him i went to date this other kid who had liked me for almost a year we went to go to the movies he showed up the tickets were sold out he left me there for 2 n a half hours by myself and stupd me almost gave him another chance after already giving him 5 chances so i gave up on him...
still hookd on the guy who threatend to stab me... i kno it was sad but he was my first love.. but i didnt think i could find no one else...
then my most recent boyfriend came along everything went good for about a month then i needed a break to get a few things straightend out... thought hed understand but he didnt... so thats when we started fighting once we got bak together... cuz he started hanging out with bad ppl and yano i live in mass he lived in NY we were 3 hours apart.. i kno longer felt secure with him going and hangin with these ppl cuz they were trying to hook him up with another girl.. but as stupid as i was yano we broke up a few other times... and i started to feel like i wasnt really hangin or talking to my friends that much and that wasnt me i felt controlld and i felt really weird like i wasnt acting me i was crying alot and i didnt know what to do i wanted to be with him but i was so ehh at times... he broke alot of promises to me.. then everytime i came down to us might not being together i always took him bak if i broke up with him or he broke up with me.. stupid moves on my part and everytime i was mad at something like he did or something he would always switch to make me feel bad for him which i guess kept me hangin on then this past tuesday we got into this huge thing i cant really get into details just kno that he said he was done with my bullshit and we were through so i was in tears so much that day i was so upset i didnt kno what to do i ended up pucking because of what was going on he no longer didnt want anything to do with me no more... after i told him one thing which broke my heart when he said what he said... n again im sry but i cant get into detail...
but we havent talkd since i told him i couldnt talk to him right now those where my last words to him that i said a few times.. which brought to deleting my myspace... which was also a big part of my 2 relationships priar to him...
so i said screw it... and i just wanna go out and have fun although i miss being with my x my friends can deff. tell a difference in my attitude and so can i.. im smiling alot.. im really happy now i mean id lve to start DATING again but im deff. not jumpin into relationships my friends are already wanting to hook me up with there friends and i mean i love being single im just affraid i'll be single forever with how everything with me and relationships are... well yea so thats whats been going on and why i havent really been on...
♥ Babi B.
