Your Father Might Be A Witch If ...
1.
He uses a screwdriver for an athame because everything in the house is falling apart.
2.
He chants spells before and while opening a box for the new toy; in hopes that the instructions are in English and that he can follow them.
3.
He now uses candles and wine as seduction tools for casting a circle around his wife; convincing her that he is invoking the Goddess within her.
4.
His book of shadows now consists of instructions on what to do when mom decides to take off for the day.
5.
He tells everyone they need haircuts; so secretly he can cast spells like: the baby will sleep the whole night through, and the wife will get her "before she was pregnant" sex drive back.
6.
He replaced wine and cake with beer and potato chips.
