evilangel's blog: "you eaze my pain..."

man im feeling...confused and emotional...im back on my birthcontrol pills and my hormones are goin bererk i mean im horny then sad then happy then i feel like cryin but i dont then im excited and hyper then im depressed...its drivin me crazy i feel like im cracked out....o.0.. my friend amanda told me last night that shes havin the same problem but her husband is in iraq..that even worse...the worse thing to happen to me would be to not take care of it...but i did...(by myself)..yeah..oh yeah my ex jay wants to get back together and he told me yesterday that he wants to get married to me and he wants me to have his babys and we can live in northshore and ride horses everyday...yeah right like i wanna be together with a fricken coke head for the rest of my life...yeah he says he's changed but i dont think so hes lied to me to many times and im over it...i would be happier if he just promised to not do it behind my back and didnt do it..instead of doin it..then we would have been so happy right now...but no hes stupid lost his chance...im happy right now ne ways.

its day three from my surgrey and im feeling better im glad that its over...finally can smoke again and eat almost normally...im feeling alone and very weird...im coughin up this brown crap...my doctoer/dentist said that its the blood that i swallowed...*yuck* im getting irratated of being in my house...but everytime i go outside it rains...and i feel like me and my ...bf...are fallin apart...but i guess its ok..it kinda hurts but if it has to be i guess ill let it...cause i just want him to be happy...ill be happy when hes happy...i miss him alot...i hope he misses me to

wow...i got my bottom wisdom teeth pulled today and i remember it all the right onw was a piece of cake and the left one they had a problem with .... dang my jaw!! Grr...just stopped bleeding alittle while ago..and ate.. but ne ways...im missin my pshyco babes even thou i just saw him last night.but oh wells i can wait till im all better then we can have lots of fun!! oh wells until then im gonna sleep and cruz in the house ...

i had a very bad friday...i went to the dentist and got my whole jaw numbed and after the novacain wore off it hurt really REALLY bad i didnt sleep at all last night because of it...i wanted to go out and see my friends and people that i wanted to see but something was just not wanting me to cause people werent picking up or people were to tired and fell asleep thats okay im not mad or upset i had a feeling it was gonna happen in the first place...but ne who..yeah i just felt like sharing even thou i dunno who else is gonna read this so yeah peace outz... krissy

I remember when i use to have terrable fridays all the time when i was like 19 i never wanted to leave the house cause there was nothing to do or me and my friends made plans but they bunk out on me...and go do some thing else without inviting me...but well that goes to show me i know who my real friends are but ne ways its friday and i hope that i have fun!! cause yeah i dunno how long more my little great happy time well lastuntil im back down in my little black hole of nothingness...id hate to say that but i have this continuis feeling that im gonna be sad again..i dont really want to but if thats the way it has to be then ok bring it on...but not for a long time please let it last as long as it can cause im lovin it!! being embraced....held close to another warm body feels so good....just alittle longer...please...i could sleep there forever..hes my greatest sin...and i never want it to end...

last night i had trouble sleeping..my dreams..(besides my mom drivin me nuts!!) they were crazy me being a vampire and terrizing everything and everybody...goes to show how much i wanna be a vampire also who i want to be my mate if i ever do get bit...(twizted..) he would be my first victum...and i well enjoy it... they do exsist...sucking blood and crazy ass sex...damn makes me horney...he he

ive never met someone so wonderful in my life and im glad he's mine...i gave in to temptation and now im obsessed i dunno if its bad or scarein him but i hope he understands that ive been looking for a man like him my whole life...but i know i cant have him fully...(long storie not gonna share)as we say here in hawaii non yah!! meaning non of your bussiness!! lol ne ways im as happy as ive ever been and i know hes happy to and im glad that i can help him be...all my pain is gone..im so happy...