Brad's blog: "yea"

i try to help but theres noone to listen my words are void and empty maybe ill keep silent from now on since my words are meaningless i offered myself but was denied a lost cause my broken heart dies beating no more from years of neglect my soul is laid to rest my blood drains from wounds unseen these feelings i only get from my dreams let them finish me my flesh and bones ache

Shine on me this life long of guilt with sadness again my life must be rebuilt shattered hope I cannot go on because of my fear of the unknown I will ask, "Will you wait on me?" nobody knows what my eyes cant see im so lost everything is lost broken thoughts whispering spoken words of blasphemy watch me cry, watch me die i cant do nothing but let out a sigh I just dont know anymore if I can survive when I think about you I feel a peice of me die go on with your life dont think of me anymore I wont think of you anymore

once again in your room by yourself you reach for your box on top of the shelf there you find all rolled up inside the broken razor you use all the time a tear rolls down as you sigh in relief you think it helps but its your warped beliefs farther you push, its real bloody now you stand up distorted as your search for a towel you dream short dreams of memories forgot unaware that you have hit a vital spot

the love i feel fades away some things just havnt changed deceived by my eyes i cant never feel the same these feelings fade from sight deceptions rule my world your heart beats on not knowing my love is gone deceptions rule my world

i seen you crying, my love, shedding tears of nothing wasting away because he wants you to, not with me i feel all your hope as it dies away from everlasting to everlasting the skies melt today you never seen the sunshine, it hides its view from you my heart is torn to peices because i saw your heart die, i seen you fall apart i put you back together, i place your heart in my hand if you never wake up will your mind dream of me? let my face and voice comfort you ill sooth you with a touch, ease every ounce of pain did you feel my life fade away? did you feel me sink into nothing, its because of you i pray i followed you into the unknown you satisfied my being i laugh and smile now things ive havnt done in awhile you complete me, i have no more demise there is no more reason to hurt no more reasons to cry, here I am! touching your face, kiss your tears goodbye how can this be that i feel renewed? ive never felt like this before i shine brighter than the sun is this a gift from heaven? did the Lord finally hear? hes answered my prayers and delivered you my dear ill learn you inside and out discover your whole being youll love me forever and i the same i seen and i beleive, there no more fear from my heart ive opened it to you, let you inside of my mind im not crying cause im hurt i cry because of the warmth i feel when i hear your voice the way my heart lights up the way i get butterflies in my stomache ive never felt love like this therefore i know ive never felt it truely but i know this is love you make me smile uncontrollably, laugh till the morning comes i long for the day i see you again, its not far away we will acomplish everything destroy the opsticals in our way they dont stand a chance with you i can fail at nothing with me ill never give you the chance to fail you will shine brighter than the sun you are the billions of stars in the sky do not ever cry again even if its for happyness tears will rip me inside dont ever let me feel like that again i fell so far into depression sank so low that i couldnt find an excape then i met you

nowhere to place the blame for my wretched life i will never forget you for these acts of betrayal these dark thoughts invade my mind left alone left alone to hurt i will never forget you for these acts of shame left alone to take the blame

the sign from you is nothing anymore, theres no more smiles you feel so lost, so alone in this world thats so cold if only there would be peace but it your world it doesnt exsist your mind swirls as life leaves you, feeling so calm for once with open eyes you slowly fade away, your thoughts screaming you begin to shake being overtaken by the end in this world thats so cold will anyone help you? save you from being broken? you feel so trapped with no way out, lost insanity you cannot understand these feelings, how do you live? what have you become? why do you do these things? these answers are not clear but in the end they will not go unanswered