BrokenGoddess's blog: "WTF?!"

WTF you may ask?! Keep in mind this is the condensed soup version of what happened to me in 2004-2010. Yes its long and yes there are technical terms. Get lost or confused ask. I was a nurse before I got sick. I tend to forget that not everyone knows what the fuck I'm talking about.

    March 2004 I became deathly ill. I had what "they" thought to be a chronic migraine. Turns out that would be the easy way out. But for those of you who know me, know I can't take the easy way out of anything... I was put in the hospital and "they" started running tests. Every fucking test known to man was ran on me. I was diagnosed with Pseudo Tumor Cerebri (PTC). In short my brain thinks its has a brain tumor. It doesn't, but trying to convince that tainted thing of that isn't possible. My brain over produces Cerebral Spinal Fluid (CSF) and crushes itself. So I was put into a medically induced coma for nearly 2 weeks. "They" tried drug therapy to help me. Guess what?! It didn't work.... So surgery was my only option. I had a Lumbar Shunt (LP) put in my back. It was supposed to help vent off excess CSF.
    So that was the first of many operations to come. About a month later I started to go blind. Literally... I lost 80% of vision in both of my eyes. So I had eye surgery to help save my optical nerve. Guess what?! That didn't work either... So "They" figured out that my Shunt was broken. So that was another LP operation. I was placed on toxic levels of anti-seizure medications. Which didn't work.  A few months later and yep you guess it... It fucking broke again!!! So in I go for yet another operation. Are you sensing a pattern here?!I was told this go around that I needed to have BRAIN SURGERY!!!
Now I'm NO chicken shit. But out of all the things that I used to fear, Brain Surgery and Eye Surgery topped the list. And I just had eye surgery and was about to have brain surgery. *GULP* So December 2004 comes along. It was time to say goodbye to my long locks of hair. Write endless letters to my friends, family, and a 5 subject notebook to my son. I prayed to the Goddess to protect me. And I took that long walk down a short hallway.
With a shaved head, fuzzy socks, a photo of my son taped to my "I See You" Gown, and a big black X on top of my bald head. I was wheeled into the operating room. I drew a big black X on top of my head for shits and giggles. I'm the type that has to find the humor in everything one way or another. I had a Programmable VP Shunt placed in my head. In short I've got a computer in my brain..
    Fastforward to Feb. 2010~~

My LP shunt layed in my spine BROKEN for 6 years. So I finally found a Neurosurgeon to remove it.  So began the circus of surgery for this year. A week to the day after the removal surgery, I was rushed into emergency surgery. The scar on my spine opened up and I was literally gushing CSF. That was the first "repair" operation. The next morning my heart stopped. This would be the 10th time I died. I don't get the hint very well do i?! I kept sprining leaks. I had to be rushed in 2 more times for them to attempt to "plug the leaks" I had more leaks than the Titanic. But I'm un-sinkable!! *giggles* So the only other option was to have a new LP shunt placed.  I'm a living "miracle" so to speak. I am or was the ONLY person in the US. that has both programmable VP and LP Shunts in place and is alive. So both of my shunts are computerized and controled by a remote control. I was rushed back into surgery a month later. My tubing pulled out and was causing me to leak and pocket CSF under my right rib cage.

 That huge scar on my right side and the one on the small of my back have been opened 9 damn times. Then yes the ever present scar on my noodle... I'm open about it.. Got any questions ask...