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Ok, so I've had some recovery time after this weekend. I was so exhausted last night, I had a friend over and fell asleep. Anywho, I've been trying to motivate myself to write this blog even though it won't be very long.
Friday night after working all night. I had to pick up a trip at a bar downtown. I pull up to Intermission and wait. Five guys come out carrying one guy toward my cab.. I already know this won't end well for me.
They put him in the back. He doesn't speak English. Luckily I speak Spanish, but he wasn't understandable in ANY language. I tell him if he needs to puke to get it in the trash can. This was a waste of breath.
I didn't make it to the end of the block before *blahgahjg;agak* "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!" Puked all up in my cab. I was so pissed! *Blaghaghaghagahga!* "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I'm just trying to hurry up and get him to his street. His shitbag friends just threw him in my cab and left him to die and me to clean up after it. I was continuously trying to get a hold of his friend to let him know what was going on and that someone would have to come make sure I got paid. This of course never happened.
I got him to his street and I had been in contact with my dispatcher letting him know what was going on. He had called the cops. SO I'm on his street. He gets out, stumbles around the street and *POW!* *faceplant* Gets up.. makes it to the grass.. cirlce..circle..circle... fall down... gets up... I lost him for a few minutes to a bush.. gets up.. made it to another bush..
He finally makes it to the front door of a house. I still don't even know if this is the correct house. At this time the cops finally arrive. I let them know what's going on. They go to try to get his wallet.. but.. yes that's right... HE SHIT HIMSELF. The amount of bad punery that went on between the cops and me was ridiculous. We were waiting to see of his friends would show up because they REALLLY didn't want to call EMT. They said they would be pissed. Rightfully so. They tried to get in the house while this kid (YES folks, he turned out to be underage) sat in the grass and pissed on himself. No such luck. So they had to call EMT. Right about the time one of the cops and I said "we need to move" because we caught a waft of shit mist, EMT showed up. The two biggest bull dykes I've ever seen got out and I feared for this kid. They quickly wrapped him up like a shitty bean burrito and got him out of there... leaving me standing with his puked covered phone I had picked up with a plastic wal mart bag.
I never did get paid. My boss is going to help me deal with it. I was so sick to my stomach. I couldn't get the smell of human feces out of my nose. I was trying not to throw up, myself, as I drove in my regurgitated beer and questionable food- covered cab. I pulled up to a gas station and BEGGED them for cleaning supplies. They gave me the hefty towels and some 409.
I was picking up giant chunks of the inside of a person. I was about to add to the collection. A yellow cab driver pulls up to the pump next to me. I just look at him, defeated and say, "gotta love it". He says, "yeah.. worst one I had was 5 dudes ALL puking. Then they jumped out, stabbed my tire and ran". WOW.. well at least I didn't get my tire stabbed.
But yeah.. if there were a Party Olympics...Captain Shittypantz took the gold.
