Ok, so they say that many of the foods that we eat are discovered accidentally or derived from mistakes made in the kitchen. Much like the story we have all heard about the person that was cutting up potatoes in the kitchen and clumsily dropped one of them in a pot of bubbling oil. "Holy shit!!! I just made a potato chip! I am going to be a gazillionaire and a contributing factor to the rising obesity problems in Americans!" Ok, well maybe it wasn't quite like that, but you get the idea.
So, I was bored today and with my undying need to make freaking Smores last night, I began to find myself wondering how the hell a marshmallow came to be. Seriously, what genius was chillin in his kitchen one night, with a 50 pound bag of sugar, corn syrup, dextrose, modified food starch (corn), gelatin, natural and artificial flavor, tetrasodium pyrophosphate and blue 1? (obviously I read the ingredients from the bag)
My first question is... What exactly is IN this natural and artificial flavor? I have never heard of a natural (or artificial) marshmallow flavoring. Secondly, what is blue 1, and if it's blue, why are marshmallows white? And third... who the hell keeps dextrose, natural and artificial flavor, tetrasodium pyrophosphate and blue 1 HANDY in the kitchen???
As you might concur, this all leads me to another round of useless questions, of which I am sure that SOME smartass will try to answer... in that case, please read the disclaimer at the bottom of my blog.
So do I have to go to some special store to find these things? You know, like if you have ever decided to get all cultural for a minute, and find that you have to go to a REAL Chinese grocery store to get some ingredients that you just can't find in the Wal Mart grocery section, to make that Kung Pao Choke on a Chicken dish that you have an undeniable craving for??? In which case, please ignore that there are dead, headless fish lying on the floor in the back corner of the store, right next to the glass box containing roasted (charred to a crisp) duck with the feet and head still intact. I'm getting off track here... but my point is - where do you get this stuff? I wanna make some crazy, cracked-out sweet something that people can't live without, and apparently from the labels that I have read, I have to know where this store is, to get the shit I need!!
Lastly, I found myself questioning the name -as we have all done, whether we are just bored to tears, or stoned out of our minds...
So who decided to call it MARSHMALLOW? It looks kind of like a snowball, so why not call it "snowball" or "angel poofs" or something equally rediculous? But then... I'm the idiot sitting here typing a blog about the invention of the marshmallow. Ok, I think it's time to go find other shit to ponder... And for the record, I am completely sober.
Disclaimer: (yeah, there really was one) This blog was intended for comedic purposes only. Any similarities to persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental. Unfortunately, the beliefs expressed in this [whatever this is] ARE that of the writer. If you are aware of the actual "making of the marshmallow," the writer does not give two shits about it, and cares less to hear what the hell natural and artificial flavoring ACTUALLY is.
