Tittat586's blog: "writings and ramblings."

i know that i am strong


dont you try to tell me different


ive been through hell


but im still standing.


these eyes have cried more tears


than any eyes should ever cry.


this heart has felt more pain


than any heart should ever feel.


but im still here.




what does not kill me, makes me stronger.


many nights ive lied awake


wondering what would have happened


if i had not made my mistakes.


But then i remember


that while i cannot change the past


i have control over what happens now.


if it wasnt for my past


i would not be strong.




sometimes i have weak moments.


sometimes i live in hell.


sometimes i want to scream


sometimes i break down and cry


while all of these things


may be weaknesses,


gather them together


throw them at me, put them in me


and they give me strength.




this is me, who i am.


i know that i am strong.


i know that i will live on.


pain i have defeated.


tears have run dry.


i want to be happy....


its all I ever wanted.


i deserve it, ive earned it.


i am strong, and i will move on

if my pillow could talk


it would say so many things


about how i wish i could get away


and wish i had wings




it would speak


of all my tears


all my stories


and deepest darkest fears




it would tell


of all those nights


i just laid and cried


and about my dreadful sight





i look so happy


careless and free


but deep down in side


is the real me




there is only one thing


that knows how i feel


thats my pillow


it knows the deal




as each night


i pray cry and talk to it


about how i wish


i could quit




quit my life


or just run away


but i always stay


to face another day




so i dedicate this poem


to my closest friend


my pillow


always with me till the end

The twins, Shane and Austin,

       Were two of a kind.

They'd take two pairs of shoes,

Whomever's they could find.

They would split both pair,

Each with a left and a right.

Then they would grab two purses.

What a cute little sight.

To top it all off,

They'd take a hat from your head,

Find one in the closet,

Or grab one off my bed.

They would wear it so proudly,

And prance around this place, 

   Looking so silly

With a big smile on each face.

But now that's over.

We lost our precious Shane.

Our hearts that were filled with joy,

Are now filled with pain.

We feel so much sorrow,

That Austin lost his twin brother.

   They were never alone,

They always had each other.

Austin looks different now,

Since he lost his brother Shane.

When you look at his feet,

His shoes are the same.

It wouldn't do any good,

    To throw a big fit.

We know what God wants,

God is going to get.

We gave him a good home,

But now he is in a better place.

     I know we can't see him,

But I know he has a smile on his face.

I don't know why this happened,

We are sure paying our dues.

The only good thing I can say now,

I can find both of my shoes

have you ever wondered

whats really real in life

if youre really living it all

if its worth the sacrifice



have you ever wondered

if things are exactly how they seem

if theyre nothing more than a mirage

if theyre nothing more than a dream



have you ever wondered

if who you love is real

if theyre not just pretending

and you feel things you shouldnt feel



have you ever wondered

how youre going to die

have you made out a list

who needs to be told goodbye?



have you ever wondered

where youre going to go

will it be heaven or will it be hell

dont you think you need to know?

I know Im just me.An untitled girl .Someone just trying to make it.In this sad, confused world .Im not trying to prove anything .To myself or anyone else.Im just merely existing .In this place of living hells .And no,I dont live .Just for the hell of it .I live because I want to .Otherwise, Id be done with this shit .Now dont get the wrong impression .Im normally happy .But now Im starting to wonder.Would people miss me if I was gone? .Have I made an imprint on people at all? .Am I living my life for a reason? .Or am I exactly like the fall? .Just a dying season?.Come on, I know Im not the only one .Who wonders this sort of stuff .Or am I just a lonely girl .Thinkin of things that are tough.After all, Im just untitled