SDMF KILGOR DBC ED's blog: "COLD"

I HAVE TO START BY SAYING I NEED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST ....I AM WRITING THIS BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU AND CAAN'T MAKE SENSE OF IT, YOU BASED YOUR DECISION ON A VERRY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME THAT WE WERE TOGETHER AND AND A PROBLEM THAT IWAS FIXING...HOW CAN I BE JUS LIKE YOUR X WHEN I DIDN GET THE LUXURY TO ACTUALLY BE WITH YOU TO LIVE WITH YOU ..WE SPENT A SHORT TIME TOGETHER NOT EVEN REALLY ENOUGH TIME TO PASS JUDGMENT ON SOMEONE AND NOT EVEN GIVEN A CHANCE TO PROVE THEMSELVES YA IT WAS ONLY A FEW DAYS THAT YOU SAW IT BEFORE JUS BREAKING YOUR PROMISE AND TURNIN YOUR BACK ON ME..THISN ISN ME TRYIN TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE CRAP EITHER THIS IS ME DESPERATELY TRYING TO ET YOU TO SEE..TO SEE THAT I HAVE MADE CHANES AND YA I'M NOT PERFECT AND I DO SLIP ..BUT GUESS WHAT ,NEITHER ARE YOU AND YOU DO SLIP TOO..NO FUCKIN ONE IS PERFECT ,I DUN GIVE A FUCK WHO YA ARE ...I'M A PERSON AND I HAVE FEELINGS TOO YA KNOW... I KNOW THERE'S MORE TO US THAN THIS ...THE WAY YOU KISSED ME AT THE BUS STATION,THE WAY WE HELD EACHOTHER AND LOOKED INTO EACHOTHERS EYES, THE LOVE WE SHARED AND MADE TOGETHER TELL ME OTHERWISE... I BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN THO YOU DON'T AND DONT WANNA BELIEVE IN ME...AND YOU SAY PUPPY SYNDROME,WELL HOW CAN THERE BE WHEN THE PUPPY WAS HARDLY THERE...BUT I KNOW WHY AND NEVER FAULTED YOU FOR THAT ,YOU HAVE RESPONSABILITIES...I JUS WANTED TO SPEND SUM TIME WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE AND CHERISH AND LAST TIME I CHECKED IT WASN SOO WRONG TO WANT TO BE WITH THE ONE YA LOVE ,TO ACTUALLY WANT TO SPEND EVEN A FRACTION OF TIME WITH EM..LOOK,REALITY IS LIFE IS BUISY,SPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE A PARENT ..I KNOW THIS, I HAVE 3 OF MY OWN MEMBA? AND I TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT I UNDERSTOOD AND IS IT REALLY THAT WRONG TO WANNA SPEND EVEN A FRACTION OF TIME WITH SOMEONE? LAST I CHECKED AND BEEN HEARIN N SEEING WOMEN SAY IS I WISH HE WOULD PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME OR EVEN NOTICE ME....IS IT REALLY SOO WRONG? YA I FUCKED UP A FEW THINGS BUT THEY WERE FIXABLE THINGS THAT I WAS WORKIN ON I AM ONLY HUMAN FALIABLE AND FLAWED BUT I BELIEVED I WAS AND STILL AM WORTH THE CHANCE ...I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU THE MOMENT I SAW YOU ,LOOKED INTO YOUR EYES STRAIGHT TO YOUR SOUL,THEN FELT YOUR FIRE ,YOUR KISS,YOUR TOUCH..EVEN YOUR BREATH WAS AMAZING TO ME...LOOK I KNOW I FUCKED UP AND I BEEN WORKIN ON THAT I'M NOT PERFECT AND I WILL ADMIT WHEN I'M WRONG...I WOULD GLADLY GIVE MY LIFE FOR A SECOND CHANCE COUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN THO YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ME ...I KNOW WRITING THIS MAY SEEM PATHETIC AND W/E ..BUT YOU KNOW WHAT....I REALLY DUN GIVE A SHIT,I COULD CARE THE FUCK LESS AND ANYONE WHO DOESN LIKE IT CAN EAT MY ASS,I'LL EEN PROVIDE THE SPOON....I'M TRYING HERE ,REACHIN FOR STRAWS AND FIGTING FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN..YOU SAID YOUR PROMISES MEAN MOR TO YOU HAN ALMOST ANYTHING AND YOU DON'T LIKE BREAKING EM,YOU PROMISED ME,YOU LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND SAID YOU WOULD NEVER JUS ABANDON ME....I KNOW YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR KIDS,AS A FATHER I UNDERSTAND THIS,BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU WROTE ON YOUR PAGE KNOWIN WHO I WAS,YOU WROTE IT....BUT AS I SAID I'M TRYING HERE,REACHIN FOR STRAWS AND HOPIN THIS REACHES EVEN SUM PART OF YOUR HEART AND MIND...I'M ON BENDED KNEE...LIFE IS RISKS N CHANCES YOU NEVER LIVE IT AND TAKE THOSE RISKS N CHANCES THEN YOU DIE NEVER KNOWING.....I LOVE YOU,ALWAYS HAVE ALWAYS WILL BEYOND TIME....